#bc it means that she has always treated me like i was older than i was and put more on me than anyone else

[altruistic-meme]

sigh.

[jjk4isen]

ꗃ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃, 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 .

❝ answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and holding me— was she the one on your mind? ❞

summary: it's hard knowing you aren't really the person in toji's heart but loving him was something you still did regardless. as for toji, he thinks he's ready to give you his all.

desc: 2.8k words, f!reader (referred to as ‘mama’), canon compliant i think, takes place after mamaguro's death and before toji’s, age gap (early 20s reader, early 30s toji), baby gumi ahhhhh, sfw, angst to fluff to angst again lol, intended lowercase, think you're tsumiki’s mom but without tsumiki bc the relations would be too complicated and also the second wife erasure in the canon storyline?? yeah it's reserved specifically for this fic, not proof read i fear but pls read it's really interesting i can swear by it lmaoqhdhns

dating a widowed man with a son wasn't easy especially when the said man is still in love with his former wife, or rather, his wife who had died.

love is often beautiful but sometimes it's unfair. it can also be cruel. what other reason would make you still stay despite knowing you'll never measure upto the person who had been here before you?

and you've heard stories about her. she was sweet, so beautiful— not just in her appearance but her entire being was beautiful. there always was an ache in your heart upon just the mention of her name.

so how much more would it have ached for toji?

“mama” the spiky haired boy, barely two years old calls you and you realise the silence in the room. “not mama, i’m nana okay?” sick.

nana. not mama but close enough. it doesn't matter anyway, n and m are just letters and next to each other so how much difference would that make? you're the one that's here after all, are you not?

if there's a lump in your throat and your eyes are burning with unshed tears, you force yourself to ignore.

“okay nana” megumi nuzzles his face into your chest, slowly drifting away to sleep. the boy always liked cuddling with you and it melts your heart immensely.

your hands strand through his dark hair. people always said he's the carbon copy of his dad but you'd like to differ. megumi has his mother's eyes and his hair resembled hers more than it did his dad's.

the thought sends another ache in your chest but you push it away– as you always have.

you recall the last time toji had heard megumi call you “mama”. you had never seen toji that livid. he was never a gentle man to begin with but that night, there was nothing else you've been more scared of.

was he like that to his wife? maybe not.

does that matter though? it's not like toji treats you badly. he's decent and loves you an enough amount. you weren't crazy enough to stay when you're not wanted so that must mean you were something to him right?

you also recall the whispers of pity and condemnation thrown at you for just being with toji. him being a brute is one thing but the difference in age is what people seem to have a problem with. you're so much younger than him and have your whole life ahead of you so why are you entrapping yourself this way?

you disagree though. love doesn't know any age and you definitely aren't naive to be head over heels over a guy just because he's relatively older. no, this was real and genuine.

a faint knock disrupts your train of thoughts. “he sleepin’?” toji nods towards the small boy in your arms and you nod back in return.

taking care not to wake the sleeping kid, you slowly pry his hands away from you and pull over a blanket to cover his small body.

when you make your way towards toji, he wastes no time in pulling you closer “missed you” he mumbles, placing a kiss onto your forehead and suddenly all thoughts plaguing your mind disappears. that's all you could ask for, even if it was just for a moment.

“i missed you more” you whisper back, he only huffs out an amused chuckle.

“got bad news though” a frown finds itself on his lips, decorated by a single scar next to it.

“did you lose all your money again?” toji was a gambling addict, another thing you forced yourself to tolerate just for him.

“sorry, doll. thought i’d win this time” he rubs small circles on your back comfortingly and it makes you a bit uneasy to know that he has his way with you so easily.

“it's alright. i’ll just find another part time job”

“so good to me” toji pulls you into his chest and you let out a sigh— of exhaustion? relief? you couldn't really tell but that's not important, toji had you in his arms.

“i’ll try and think of something too. don't worry your pretty little head too much” he lifts you up with ease. while you're in his arms, you feel the safest.

toji really felt bad this time. he was confident he would win but that stupid horse had to trip and lose its lead, ending up last of all places. he knows luck never favoured him but that's didn't stop him from trying again and again and again.

he also knows how you didn't say anything more than necessary about it but he isn't that much of an idiot either. he sees how your expression falters and your shoulders slump a little more when he comes home with another news of his gambling loss.

this is also why he tries, or rather, tried to quit — one too many times, unbeknownst to you. however, old habits die hard and most of the time (everytime) toji gives into his urge and loses yet again. the cycle keeps happening.

maybe this isn't just about gambling.

with the way you're asleep so soundly next to him after putting his son to sleep and taking care of him too, he is overcomed with yet another feeling to be better for you and megumi alike.

toji isn't a gentle man; everyone knows that, you do too — even more than anybody else but he can't help the familiar pool of warm feelings surging through him the longer he stares at your peaceful state.

he remembers the last time he felt it, with another person. it felt like a lifetime ago.

he also remembers how painful it was when he lost it — the person, the feeling altogether. his hands that were making their way to caress your face stops mid air.

toji knows you deserve so much better. you've been nothing but patient to him, so amazing, so perfect to him. still, he just can't do it yet, just not yet.

he will eventually, he hopes you stay until then.

toji wakes up to an empty bed and his heart sinks a little but the creases and wrinkles on the sheets serve as a reminder that you were really here.

he makes his way towards the kitchen, only finding megumi sitting on a chair next to the dining table.

“hey kid, where's your mama?”

toji freezes. it came out so naturally he didn't realise he said it himself and almost thinks he didn't but megumi's wide eyes prove that he actually did.

“m…mama?” megumi says hesitantly and toji nods this time. “yes, your mama”.

“potty potty!” megumi points to the bathroom and giggles, toji follows suit. the man crouches to his son's eye level and pats his head.

“you love your mama, kid?” toji sees megumi's eyes sparkle as the boy nods enthusiastically “very very much!!”

“yeah? i love your mama too.”

toji smiles to himself, he can't wait to tell that to you.

the next time toji got his pay, he finds himself hesitating. instead of heading towards the race tracks, his feet takes him to a jewellery store.

instead of picking out a slot and testing his luck, he picks out a ring. it's not fancy by any means but he thinks it would be the most beautiful band of metal to exist if it slides into your ring finger.

the tiny ring carries all the heavy feelings he has for you.

──

it was one particular evening when you saw an old man lingering by the front gate. its particular because the warm sunset and the soft cool breeze contrasted the ground breaking truth you find out.

“can i help you?” you ask the old man who looks at you up and down, not making an attempt to hide his distaste of your sight.

“is this where toji zenin lives?” he stares down at you with his scrutinising gaze; it makes you feel small.

“zenin?” you ask, confused. is he referring to toji? but his last name is fushiguro is it not?

“yes toji zenin. i heard he has a son as well. you're not the mother are you?”

is it that obvious? you wonder how the old man figured it out. regardless, you're not about to give him his answers so you stood your ground.

“i’m sorry i don't know what you're talking about.” you turn around, about to head inside when his words make you stop short.

“are you fushiguro?”

that's toji’s last name isn't it? not zenin or whatever he called it. so why is he asking you that? is he implying that you're married to toji?

“no. you have the wrong person.”

“why? did he say not to get involved with anyone from his clan?” the old man draws closer, chucking to himself. you're just there unmoving, trying to comprehend the situation and the words coming from his mouth.

“or did he not tell you that either? did he tell you anything at all?” he stands tall in front of you, tearing away bits of yourself with every word he says.

“when he returns, tell him the clan wants to propose him an offer. you can do that much at least won't you?”

…

and when toji comes home that night with the ring cluched tightly in his fist and inside the pocket of his white pants, the world stills.

he finds you in a state he has never seen you before. you look completely and utterly defeated.

“hey, what's wrong?” his hands come to caress your face so effortlessly, the ring and prior nervousness long forgotten.

“talk to me what's going on?” he looks around and the house seems emptier than usual. your laundry that were usually hanging with his were gone.

your small trinkets you placed around the house to “make it more lively” were nowhere to be found.

and there's a bag in the corner of the room which toji prays and hopes he isn't what he thinks it is.

your hands push away his own that were cupping your face. you're not even looking at him.

“say something damn it!”

you flinch and toji takes a step back. he recalls the last time you trembled in fear — when he got mad megumi called you his mom. he punishes himself for it.

“im sorry. please talk to me.” he isn't touching you now but he wants to. he wants to reach out and pull you close, as he always had done. but now there's an unbearable silence and the small distance between you both felt like lightyears away.

“who's zenin” your voice was meek, barely a whisper but toji's eyes widen. how did you find out about that?

no fuck that, he was supposed to be the one telling you. in his own time.

“i can explain” was all that came out of him. he's nervous, he doesn't know where to start. there's a lot of information to unpack and he's not sure how to do it without hurting you too much.

when he doesn't elaborate, you ask another “who's fushiguro then?” your voice falters a bit and toji curses himself for it.

but he's done running away and keeping things from you. “my… my late wife” he says wryly.

your eyes close and a shaky breath leaves your body, as if he just confirmed your worst suspicions. damn life is so funny isn't it? everything you thought you knew apparently wasn't what it seemed to be after all.

opening them again, your vision blurs and you realise tears were escaping your eyes. fuck you didn't want to cry now of all times but they won't stop.

and the way toji was looking at you, it makes you want to throw up.

“i must've been so stupid to you” you let out a humourless chuckle. “did you pretend im her?”

your gaze was sharp and so were your words. maybe all your bottled up feelings were resurfacing. it doesn't make you feel better about it but that doesn't stop you though.

“answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and when you're holding me, was she the one on your mind??” your voice was loud now. you should be afraid of waking up megumi who you cradled to sleep just a few hours ago but no, your thoughts are too clouded right now.

toji sighs. he has no excuse.

“i used to” he actually looks ashamed as if he wasn't the one who did it purely out of his will.

your scoff makes him wince “but not anymore.”

his words fall on deaf ears “you know… i knew you did. but i stayed regardless because i thought there would be a chance that maybe one day, you could open up your heart to me. im not even asking for all of it, just a little… i thought you'd let me in.”

you're blabbering and honestly, so distraught.

“but not a moment was there when it was me isn't it? it was always her in the first place.”

now toji should have said something, anything but he stays there planted in place. and maybe that was your breaking point.

you turn around, grabbing your bag and brushing past him towards the door. instead of holding onto you and stopping you, toji clutches the small box containing the ring — your ring in his pocket, almost crushing it in the process, as he hears the door slam.

you think it's funny how toji did not reach out after what happened. it's poetic even. very fitting of him, till the very end, he did not give two shits about you.

so then, why were you back here?

it's been four long years since the trajectory of your life changed. you still don't know if it was for the better or for the worse.

saying it has been hard would be an understatement. it took you a long time just to get back onto your own feet but you did it regardless. however, you left a part of you here long ago and now, you're here to take it back.

that and you missed megumi dearly. perhaps it was an excuse too because you won't deny a part of you still missed toji, despite everything that happened.

standing a few feet away from the place you used to call home, you hesitate.

maybe this was a bad idea. oh this was definitely a bad idea. you'll see them, and then what? what comes after that?

closure? don't make yourself laugh. you’ll just be reminded of how you couldn't be that person for toji— how you'll always come second. and what if they moved?? there's no reason they'd still be here right?

forget this, you don't need to do this. why must you still be the one who put effort? to reach out? four long years passed and still no news means they clearly moved on... right?

you were convinced enough and was about to go back when you saw little megumi carrying a backpack on his back, seemingly coming home from school.

your feet wouldn't move and your eyes wouldn't blink. he grew up so well.

the world pauses as your gaze follows the kid you used to consider your own, now as good as a stranger.

“do you know that kid?” a voice at your back makes you whip your head around. life really is full of surprises and this time, the surprise was in the form of a tall man, no a tall kid with white hair, looking at you curiously through his round tinted glasses.

“... no i don't” well you weren't exactly lying. you don't know the megumi you see now. perhaps if he asked whether you raised him since he was a baby till he was two, then your answer would've been different.

“oh okay” the boy shrugs. “poor guy though”

“why? whats up with him?” you turn to look at megumi again who was minding his business walking home and your heart aches a little.

“I'm here to recruit him. his dad died you see so he's–”

“wait what was that??”

“his dad. he's dead” the amused boy in front of you chuckles and you stare at him, horrified.

“what happened to him?” your voice was shaky and doesn't sound like your own. he leans down to meet your eye level and smirks “why? i thought you don't know that kid. why does that matter to you?”

your stomach churns as you stare at him, not even knowing what to say— the smug expression on his face only widens.

“so you do know him.”

'know' would be a weak word to use when it comes to toji. you knew of his habits, the simple things he does and also of the more complex ones — like the exact place his scar decorated his lips and how it felt to kiss it.

then again, you don't really know anything about him and maybe you never will.

and maybe that's really, the closure you needed.

[princessbrunette]

Sunshine!Reader just adores rafe. like i imagine she’s a friend of sarah who has always had a crush on her cool older brother, following him around and watching his every move cs she’s so obsessed with him x rafe who is nonchalant at his very core & basically just ignores her presence even when she’s practically hanging off his arm & living in his skin. “Why is it that everytime i turn around, you’re there?” he just raises his eyebrow at her. “i’m not your friend, kid.” - 🍄

no bc im salivating …….. hang on let me cook

₊˚🦢✩ 🎀⊹☁️♡

sunshine!reader who’s always at the cameron home because her home life is bad— more specifically, daddy issues !! it’s a wonder how you’re so sweet n happy toward the people around you when you’re being treated so poorly!

you follow rafe around like a lost puppy, because duh — his nonchalance hurts you in all the right ways that just makes you crave his attention more, a product of your bad relationship with your father. you’re over at tannyhill more and more, increasingly without sarah being there as she starts a life with the pogues— but you don’t mind, happy anywhere as long as you’re not at home.

“are you goin’ anywhere today rafe? can i come?” you seemingly pop out of nowhere in the kitchen, startling him as he closes the fridge— clutching his chest for effect.

“jesus, why is it everytime i turn around you’re there? ‘you ever go n’hang around at your own house or what?” he busies himself, carrying a carton of juice in one hand and moving you out the way with the other as he passes.

“i prefer to be here! hanging out with you!” you chirp and he stops in the doorway, turning to look at you.

“kid, i’m not your friend. a’ight?” he drawls before heading out, the same time his father is entering the room. ward sends you a sympathetic look before he’s trailing after rafe.

“son you gotta be nice to the girl. i didn’t raise you like that.” he nags, speeding up to walk in time with the younger man.

“why? she’s practically living rent free here, should be able to talk to her how i want.” rafe complains, uncapping the carton and taking a swig.

“her home life, it’s not great.” he lowers his voice, swivelling his head round to make sure you weren’t lurking. “she’s — she’s sarah’s friend. i’m taking pity on her, think her dad doesn’t treat her all too well.” he rambles and rafes movements slow to stop, eyes trailing up to meet his fathers, suddenly attentive.

“huh.” he speaks, sinister intrigue occupying his gaze which his father barely picked up on. he continued speaking but rafe had heard all he needed to hear, concocting ways to use this to his advantage.

the opportunity presented itself sooner than he was expecting once he’d got you backed up against the wall in the hallway a few days later, practically pinning you there.

“you— you know it’s time you start respecting me if you wanna be hangin’ out around here. especially now my dads on his trip. i’m older than you, the man of the house now and — and that means you answer to me.” he drawls, quiet and intimate— so close his breath warms your face as you blink up at him.

“i do listen to you rafe.” you chime, losing a little bit of pep in your step under his intimidating gaze. you knew something was up, but you couldn’t help but melt — finally feeling like rafe gave a shit about you. that he was going to save you.

“wanna see you actin’ like it from now on… you know i realised,” his finger comes to his temple, lightly tapping. “you’re missin’ something. someone to guide you. an authority figure… ‘nd it must be your lucky day ‘cus i can be just that. you’ll… be in good hands.” he now drags his finger lightly down the side of your face, scooping round to beneath your chin to lift it.

“i thought you said you didn’t wanna be my friend.” you whisper, eyes flickering between his mouth and his eyes, the proximity tempting.

“didn’t say we would be friends… i was thinking something a little more… hands on.” his drops his voice to a mere whisper, hovering his lips right over yours. you give in to the urge, craning up and pressing your lips against his, which he lets slide for maybe two seconds — before drawing back and slapping you, grabbing your jaw instantly to bring your gaze back.

you gasp, tears springing to your eyes, usual smile wiped from your expression even more so now. “you don’t… you don’t do that without my permission. alright? i said you answer to me now.” he grits his teeth, squeezing your jaw just a little harder making your brows furrow in fear.

he ends up not being too mean on you, especially when you’re later cumming around his cock, the oldest cameron forcing you to call him ‘dad’ whilst you do so.

₊˚🦢✩ 🎀⊹☁️♡

[nat-20s]

Seen people describe The Doctor and Donna's relationship as a sibling dynamic but I think that's only true for some Doctors with Donna so here's a definitive list of which nuwhodoctordonna pairs are and aren't siblings:

NineDonna: No. They are randomly assigned roommates that become the most annoying best friends in the world. Literally the worst fucking people in existence to third wheel for, you're in a constant state of "what the FUCK are you two talking about???"

TenDonna: No. Something much weirder going on for them. I once saw someone describe them as "whatever dr doofensmirtz and perry have going on but platonic" and that's lived in my head rent free ever since. Yes Ten WOULD physically strap Donna to himself in order to confront his parents and then when it went poorly they would watch the sunset and he would tell her that she was his rock. Also very gay best friend and woman on another one of their little adventures/ a lesbian and her favorite himbo. Who's the gay best friend/woman/lesbian/himbo changes on a whim <3 Truly the icons of sticking two freak bi people with unfettered adhd together and seeing what happens

ElevenDonna: okay Yes. that is her little brother that's like 30 times older than her and she is treating him accordingly. (so so so mean but will also kick people in the shins for being nasty to him)

TwelveDonna: Sort of. Less your typical sibling dynamic and more like stepsiblings that only became stepsiblings well into their 30s and have decided to unionize. In another life they would've been a vaudeville duo that are also conmen.

ThirteenDonna: No. Not a single soul knows whatever the fuck those two have going on between them, least of all them. Probably like. The somewhat healthier mirror version of whatever the fuck The Doctor and Spymaster have going on. One time 13 sighs oh so sadly and is like "i wish i could be donna's lap dog" and when the master asks, "Like in a horny way, or???" Thirteen replies, "I don't know I just think if Donna could carry me around everywhere life would be significantly better and I could have an easier time seeing beauty in the universe again." and the master is like. "have you maybe considered prozac" and the doctor says "WELL I WOULDN'T NEED PROZAC IF I WAS DONNA'S LAP DOG NOW WOULD I??"

FourteenDonna: no. QUEER PLATONIC SPOUSES OF ALL FUCKING TIIIIMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FifteenDonna: Not quite. I think they more have the vibe of like cousins that go to family functions and always seek each other out bc they have a mutual case of "you're the only bitch in this room that I respect. You're the only motherfucker in this house that can handle me." Both of them volunteer to "chaperone" the kids table bc if Donna has to hear one more word from their uncle who won't shut up about how great brexit is she's shoving his face in the mashed potatoes and fifteen is just going to be like "you're doing amazing sweetie"

[greenunoreversecard]

Kai general and Romantic headcanons

A/N:sorry if I got any of the characters wrong, I was using a combo of wiki/Google translate as I don't speak any of the languages mentioned. Pls let me know if I got any info wrong, i will gladly go in and change it to make it right.

General:

Half Indian and half Chinese.

His and nya's last name is 鄭 (Zheng), but he says it's Smith bc when they where younger he got in the habit of lying about his name so he Didnt have to deal with CPS.

His ma is from Visakhapatnam in Andhra Pradesh, and was a practicing Hindu. Ray is from the 云南 (yunnan) province, and was a practicing theravida Buddhist. Ray is ethnically from the 傣族 (dai people, also spelt Tai in english)

Before his parents dissapearances, they both brought him to their hometowns, and actively taught him both cultures and religions, which he continued to learn about and even teach Nya about after their dissapearances.

When he was 14 he bought a small boat and him and Nya rode it across the costal line, and he promised Nya one day when he was older he'd bring the both of them to their parents hometowns.

He's a Buddhist.

He speaks so many languages.

Like so many

He's fluent in Thai, mandarin and cantonese chinese, telugu, urdu, hindi, Punjabi, arabic and ninjago-ian(idk whatever language ninjago speaks)

Also trying to learn Indonesian.

He also knows yunnan dialect bc his dad would speak in it more often than not

Absorbes info like a sponge

He likes to quilt

He always wears a golden bracelet He got from his moms jewelry box after she left.

Likes to draw but is bad at it, so he colors coloring books

Introvert

He may act all confident, but he really isn't. super insecure

Soooo good with hair

Like, has all the stops. 10 step hair care routine

rivals Zanes cooking skills.

When working out focuses on building rather than lean muscle.

Mother friend

has dragged all of his friends into the water splashing festival.

Fatal flaw is loyalty and kind of hubris (it's conflicting, ik with the insecure and extreme pride, but like- it makes sense in my head. Inferiority/maybe superiority complex.)(it makes sense bc this is such me behavior. Imagine hating yourself but thinking ur the baddest bitch alive)

Likes to stare at fire

If he can't sleep he'll make a small bonfire to stare at and think

insomnia

Chronic cigarette smoker

Romantic:

Hes more show than tell

Def acts of service (me frfr)

Although, he is very cuddly.

Not in public, though. Maybe infront of the other ninja if it was a rough day

Loves to rock you gently from side to side when yall are hug

loves to give you temple kisses

He's very gentle with you, treats you like glass

You wil prolly say ily first, and he'll go;"🧍‍♂️...cool?"

He has mommy and daddy issues, but HEAVY on the mommy issues. Have fun with this hyper-independant fuck who can't accept help without feeling like a failure even though they need it (I'm not projecting you are)

Goes all out for holidays and anniversaries.

Doberman/German Shepard vibes tbh

When it's just you two he doesn't feel the need to fill the air with meaningless chatter, so if he feels safe enough to just share air without talking feel honoured and cherish it bc that means he actually trusts you.

A little rough around the edges, but will remember that thing you said 5years ago on ur first date

Most dates are chill inside and take a nap

But sometimes if he can he takes you on the town or someplace fancy

Also likes to show you his favorite childhood spots

[leclerced]

https://www.tumblr.com/enchantecafe/735984662758014976/hi-whispers-oscar-fucking-carlos-little

THE WAY I SCREAMED AND BECAME THE PERSONIFICATION OF: 😀😳😧

no bc THIS is the ultimate trope for oscar and carlos beef OH MY GOD?

imagine instead of oscar flat out telling him little sainz left her ring at his place oscar menace piastri starts wearing it around his neck on chain (i live and die for this trope oh my god). and the other drivers who’ve become acquainted with little sainz from years of carlos bringing her to races are like… “hold on is that what i think it is around the baby rookie’s neck😦?” i wanna imagine lando and charles are like lowkey laughing about it because carlos looks like he could literally murder oscar (or hire someone to do it) meanwhile oscar is just smugly staring at him as little sainz dotes on him while wearing his racing number (it’d be funny if a dts episode was about their beef and lil sainz is just sitting there all pretty like “???”)

part of me likes toxic oscar, but also i love that man too much. so in my head they are actually very happy together… getting to piss of carlos is just a bonus

-🌷

ok i didnt mean to write all this sorry not sorry. ending is rushed bc i realized it was Long. checked word count and its just over 1.4k so im adding a read more 🫶🏻

he ends up falling for her even though he just wanted to fuck with carlos, it takes him months to get into her pants and he’s so focused on the destination he forgets about the journey get there. he doesn’t realize he’s falling for her bc he’s never been in love before, so he doesn’t recognize it.

maybe the ring is very obvious like its gold with three diamonds on the front, he goes out and buys a matching gold chain that morning and he suddenly feels guilty for using her to get to carlos so he buys her a tennis bracelet to replace the ring he slipped off her finger. she’s awake and pouting when he gets back and immediately asks why he left. he silently holds up the jewelry store bag as he crawls back into bed with her. she immediately notices her ring dangling from his neck and reaches out to grasp it. she doesn’t know why but seeing him wearing it around his neck makes her stomach flutter. then he’s pulling a velvet box out of the bag and opening it to reveal a much prettier bracelet. he still doesn’t say anything as he clasps it around her wrist, and then he kisses her wrist right over her pulse point and murmurs, “just wanted to treat you.”

everyone immediately notices her bracelet when she shows up to the paddock and makes her way to carlos’s garage. he notices her ring is gone and the shiny bracelet has replaced it on her wrist and he takes her hand and asks where the ring is and where the bracelet came from? she wiggles her fingers and says, “i guess i forgot to put it on this morning. bracelet is new.” he pushes it out of his mind, tries to ignore the fact that she’d had only forgotten it a single day since their mother gifted it to her. she’d had a panic attack the one time she almost did leave it at home, and they nearly missed their flight turning around to get it. if she had forgotten it this morning, why wasn’t she freaking out?

lando would see it dangling around oscar’s neck as soon as he arrives at the track and they greet each other. he remembers seeing it on her finger every race weekend when he was carlos’s teammate, so he clocks it instantly and pulls him aside. “you didn’t? there’s no way-“ and oscar immediately knows what he’s talking about and lifts it up to show it off like a trophy, “it was too small for my fingers.” and lando’s kind of jealous because he may or may not have tried asking her out once or twice. but that fades as soon as he realizes carlos is going to notice immediately too. he’s extremely protective over her because their dad was never always off racing and he’s a few years older than her, she’s like oscar’s age or a year younger maybe?? idk she’s just baby and carlos will protect her until he dies. he’s vetting every boyfriend; running background checks and hiring private investigators to find their ex girlfriends and interview them before they get his approval to date his little sister.

carlos noticed it hours later, when oscar, lando, and him are in a press conference together. lando keeps laughing out of nowhere and carlos keeps asking what he’s laughing at, which makes him laugh more. they almost make it to the end without him noticing it. oscar gets asked a question and he drops the pendant he’s been sucking on from between his lips. carlos had noticed the imprint of something under his shirt earlier and out of the corner of his eye saw him pull it out of his shirt and then put it in his mouth. immediately carlos recognizes it and knows exactly why his sister wasn’t wearing her ring when he saw her that morning. he thought it was weird when oscar suddenly put the pendant between his lips, but he realizes oscar had done it so he would see it. lando notices his shocked stare and bursts out laughing again. oscar’s smirking while answering the question about the upcoming race. carlos is holding himself back from pummeling oscar on camera, and as soon as they’re saying the conference is over, lando’s standing up and blocking him as he tries to launch himself at oscar.

everyone is so confused about what’s going on, but lando and oscar are laughing while carlos hurls threats and insults, and lando holds him back. unfortunately the cameras are still rolling and catch carlos saying oscar defiled his baby sister. somehow oscar gets out of the conference room and is whisked away by his team to ask him what is going on and what carlos is talking about? and he just can’t stop grinning because he got exactly the reaction he was looking for.

carlos finding his sister and dragging her away to his drivers room and asking her why? why him of all people. she knows anyone on the grid would bow down before her if she asked. so why did she fuck the one man he hates? and she’s like “oh my god don’t say fuck. it’s not like that.” and he asks, “what’s it like then? why do you think he did this? do you think it was anything more than a fuck to him?” and that makes her so sad, she starts tearing up and backing away from him because he’s never said anything like that to her before. she’s regretting everything and doubting everything oscar’s said to her the entire season, how perfect and kind he’s been, all the nights she laid in bed thinking about how maybe she could bring them together. her and lando could work together and make them get along. but all that is crushed hearing carlos’s words. he immediately regrets them of course, he still thinks they are true but wishes he never said them to her. he tries to grab her but she’s already out of his drivers room and when he follows her, she’s already gone.

he’d search until someone finally says they saw her leave with oscar and he’s even angrier because his words pushed her right into his arms, where he didn’t want her. he just texts his manager that he’s leaving and wonders what excuse oscar gave to get out of his media duties. he’s calling her the entire ride back to his hotel, and then he gets there and remembers that the mclaren drivers are in a different hotel and that’s definitely where they went. he has no clue where she is, probably for the first time ever. he goes to the hotel bar and has a drink as he spams her with calls until they stop going through. he calls lando but lando won’t tell him anything, apparently oscar and his sister swore him to secrecy when they left and she was sobbing and begged him not to tell her brother.

oscar wouldn’t know what to do when she shows up in his drivers room crying but he knows carlos has to be near and he doesn’t fancy getting his ass beat so he books it. lando covers for him after seeing the state she’s in. oscar’s got three sisters so he knows how to console a crying woman, he stops at a store and leaves her in the car to fetch chocolates and flowers and whatever else he sees that she might like before he takes her back to his hotel room. she cries for an hour before he finds out what’s wrong. she’s cried all her tears away and has gone through a box of tissues before she finally tells him what carlos said and how his words hurt her but it’s the thought that oscar would use her like that, make her fall for him just to get under carlos’s skin. she tells him that she knows he wouldn’t do that, that while he acts all cold and reserved with everyone else he’s completely different when they’re alone, and she know’s that’s the real him. then she’s cupping his cheeks and he’s thinking about how pretty she looks after crying, and she’s asking him to promise her he wasn’t lying to her like carlos said. and he actually feels something, he doesn’t know what the unfamiliar tug in his stomach is, guilt? pain? love? he tells himself it’s not the last one as he promises her that he wasn’t lying and wraps her up in his arms and tells her to go to bed, because he’s not going anywhere. the kiss he presses to the crown of her head makes her trust his words, no matter how untrue the first half is.

[thecustomcosplayed]

oooh boy i am in the midst of rewatching season 2 of Legends of Tomorrow and Sara's entire arc from assassin to captain means so much to me

(rambling under cut and kind of spoilery ig)

like. Stein's "you're no longer an assassin, you're a captain." and then a few episodes later her choosing to save him over the amulet bc she views the team as her family and she can't save her sister but she can save them oooughhh

also continuing into one of the later seasons (either 3 or 4 idk), when Zari says to Sara "you aren't just the captain of the ship, you're it's soul" WHEN SARA HAS STRUGGLED WITH WHO SHE IS AND WHAT HER SOUL MEANS TK HER??

Godd I love it sm. And in S2 when she's still trying to deal with being a captain and the fact that Rip is MIA and she probably felt so inadequate for it but her team shows literally nothing but support to her and are always like "okay so what's next captain" and they (almost) always ask her what to do hshsj

Her struggling with a place in the team in S1 being nothing more than an assassin to Rip but then S2 rolls around and she's a captain and the team (her family!!!) looks to her for guidance and I don't think they really understand how much they mean to her but its just she grows SO well into the role of captain

Everybody who joins the team doesn't even question it, Gideon never stops calling her the captain (and rewatching S1 felt so weird when Gid called Sara Ms. Lance and not Captain Lance), and then when Ava comes around literally the entire team is like "oh okay another time mom. co-captain 🥰"

Sara loves her lil band of misfits so much and I feel like she doesn't realize how much they love her (Jax saying she needs to be captain and he can't be captain in S2 E11, Rory talking to her abt being the only 2 ogs left in S6, Nate treating her like an older sister, Zari and her lowk bonding over dead siblings, etc etc) but theyre a little family and yeah theyre a lil messed yp and broken but they have each other!!

I could talk abt Sara for years guys she's my favorite character from LoT

anyways tldr i really enjoy Sara's assassin/teammate - the (figurative) soul of the ship arc

[zukkaoru]

Hi, same anon as before haha, could you ever make a post about visually impaired/blind dazai?

ooo yes i do love the idea of dazai being blind in one eye/otherwise visually impaired. personally i am biased towards him having a prosthetic eye but this is just because of an inside joke with my sister sfdgfhj anyway have some thoughts (specifically based off dazai being blind in one eye/having one prosthetic eye):

for a while, ranpo is the only one in the ada who knows bc dazai is very good at hiding it. they don't say anything bc it's not their business, but they do try to make sure they either approach dazai on his left or make their footsteps loud enough that dazai can clearly hear them coming

yosano is second to figure it out bc she's a doctor. but she only catches on to the fact that dazai is somehow visually impaired and doesn't figure out the specifics until later

kunikida figures it out after a case where dazai gets injured bc the attacker came at him on his blind side and there was too much other commotion going on for him to hear them approach

obviously he's like why would you not tell me this!!!! it's KIND OF IMPORTANT!!!!!

dazai brushes it off like "haha i just forget everyone else has two working eyes :P" but really he. didn't want to expose any weaknesses to the agency members until he knew they could be trusted

after that it's treated sort of like an open secret at the ada. no one really talks about it, but yosano, ranpo, and kuni all do their best to cover dazai's blind side whenever they can. even if 98% of the time he doesn't need it

for a while, junichirou, kenji, atsushi, and kyouka have no idea. bc no one ever talks about it, the older ada members sort of. just. forget the younger ones would have no way of knowing.

so probably they find out when dazai makes some dumb joke about it. and they're all like HELLO????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ONLY HAVE ONE FUNCTIONING EYE!?

chuuya ofc knows and has known since they were like fifteen. they also always did their best to cover dazai's blind side when they worked with him (this i think is canon to some extent,, a lot of official art has chuuya on dazai's blind side during their pm days when his eye was bandaged)

most of the rest of the mafia had no idea what was wrong with dazai's eye (or if there even was anything wrong with it) but also,, no one was going to just ask. mori is the only other person in the pm who knows what happened

dazai likes to joke that he and kunikida have "one working eye total between the two of them" bc kunikida's eyesight is pretty bad without his glasses

most of the agency members walk loud enough that dazai can hear them coming so he isn't caught off guard regardless of which direction they approach from. the one exception to this is kyouka. she has scared him on multiple occasions by approaching from the right. once she realizes what the issue is, she does her best to approach from the left

ranpo does occasionally try to bribe her to sneak up on dazai bc they think it's funny to see him try to mask his surprise. she may have given in once or twice. but only because they promised to buy her crepes.

nikolai & dazai visually impaired worsties,,

^^ they both make jokes about it all the time, bouncing back and forth off each other. everyone around them is annoyed and no one thinks it's funny at all but neither of them care

okay this got longer than i was planning so i'll end here but. yes <3

[tangerinecherrygal]

Thoughts on Bridgerton S3 so far.

Under the cut for the sake of my poor moots and for spoilers. And first and foremost, I am a hater, so I will have some complaints but most are positive.

Positives:

Developing Cressida’s character. I’ve wanted this since I started watching with season 2. I love that she isn’t a cardboard cutout mean girl bc she gets shat on (deservedly sometimes) a lot by the main characters. Also I’m not sure which way they want to go with her character but I don’t think she needs any kind of redemption, maybe just a softening of her character.

Disabled visibility. It’s very clunky, but it is a step in the right direction.Period pieces tend to be worse than other types of shows and movies at erasing disabled people. It’s easy to forget that disabled people did exist and were apart of society. I can’t speak much to how they were treated, but this is bridgerton so it is very possible to portray them in ways that are realistic to the more modern experience of, say, being in a wheelchair.

Portia Featherington. Send tweet.

Benedict being a fun little guy.

Sibling dynamics of the bridgertons are really sweet to see and always make me smile.

Penelope serving cunt, intellect and agency.

Thr Mondrich family being on screen more. I’d love a side show on them like Queen Charlotte. Their relationship is so sweet and I am observing 👀 with upmost respect.

I do like Colin’s new look buuut… we will come back to this.

Francesca’s new actress is so talented. The shy girl rep that I need. She looks a lot like Phoebe and fits in perfectly.

The other stuff (and how i would change it)

Penelope’s makeover seemed rushed. I think her transformation should’ve been gradual as she gains confidence. Almost like Kate’s last season. She starts to reflect her confidence e gains throughout the season and i’m thinking that a fanfic may be brewing oh no.

Colin’s makeover is needed bc they had to downplay the actors beauty in earlier seasons. But I don’t see him as a devilishly handsome rake all of a sudden. Luke Newton has a kind and approachable (kind of baby) face and I think that they should play on that. A pretty kind of handsome instead of trying to immitate the more masculine look that they used for anthony. I know it’s because he is putting on a performance but I think they could have gona another way. His look in season 2 is great in my opinion, maybe if his clothing was more relaxed but he kept the same hair then it would be perfect.

They’re trying to convince us that he’s suave and smooth with the ladies but it’s not consistent with his character

The threesome scenes? Not a hundred percent sure who that was for. Sapphics let me know if you appreciated those scenes because I know they weren’t doing that for their famously large straight male audience. I also saw someone say it reduces the sex workers to props but in context that kind of works into the story so idk.

Colin went from being lost at the end of last season to gaining a sense of identity that isn’t implied to be an act.

Lots of side stories make it seem messy and wastes time that can go into understanding Francesca, Penelope, and Colin. Instead of focusing on stories like Lady Bridgerton’s romantic story they really should make a QS 2 where they can explore the older cast of characters.

Paaaaacinnng. Everything is happening so fast and the side stories mean that Polin doesn’t even make much sense to me. I don’t feel any chemistry. I’m not going to count how long they’ve been on screen together this season, but it’s not enough for me to believe that Colin finally sees Pen in a romantic way. The helping Pen find a husband quest lasted for a second and immediately he realises his feelings. I just don’t buy it. I almost want to cut away to horny ass Kanthony to see actual chemistry.

if anybody reads this and has their own takes pls comment. I love talking about the show and hearing what other people thought.

[allol12]

Arcane Characters + Universal Studios Headcanons

Hi!! I wanna be more active on here and since I've hit a bit of an artblock I've decided I'll do my second favorite thing which is headcanons!

As a Floridian, I decided to start with a topic I am quite familiar with which is of course, Universal Studios. In this imaginary situation they have the 2 parks 1 day ticket bc that's the one I usually use.

Also this would be a modern setting for obvious reasons.

------------------------------

Jinx would 100% ride as many rollercoasters as she can. She rarely gets motion sickness.

If the lines weren't too long she would ride them multiple times all day long.

If they were, Cait and Vi would get sick of seeing her suffer through the long ass lines so they would just buy her an express ticket.

Ekko usually rides with her but he can only take so much.

When she was a little older, (still Powder by this point), Mylo tricked her into riding Jurassic Park (85 ft drop). He thought it'd just be a mean prank, little did he know he created a tiny adrenaline-seeking monster.

She would also violently compete against Caitlyn in Men in Black.

Favorite Universal Rides : Rip Ride Rocket, VelociCoaster, The Hulk, and Men in Black

Favorite Park: Islands of Adventure

I get the feeling Vi would be a foodie. And I can't blame her, theme park food is a lot of fun to explore. (I spent a good chunk of 2018 binge-watching DFBguide)

She would always try to go to a new restaurant every trip, and you will most likely find her chomping on a turkey leg.

When it comes to rides though, she also likes her fair share of rollercoasters. Though, she tries to ride them in the morning off the bat so she could eat in peace without feeling sick later.

I do think she'd like the 3D rides a lot too! I can definitely see her liking Transformers and Spider-Man.

Favorite Universal Rides : Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure, Rip Ride Rocket, Revenge of the Mummy

Favorite Park: Universal Studios

Caitlyn likes the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I know this is a bit on the nose because her VA was literally in Harry Potter, but it's a good combo between atmosphere, thrill, shopping, and treats.

I don't think Caitlyn is too into rollercoasters. I think she'd be more into rides with movement and a few drops rather than full on coasters.

The HP rides are mostly pretty tame in comparison to the rest of the coasters in the parks, so I can see her liking those the most. Gringotts and Forbidden Journey in particular.

I think she'd definitely be the most into shopping, her favorite park would probably be Studios due to this.

She likes going to Honeydukes with Vi, they like trying all the different sweets and treats together.

Lets Jinx win in Men in Black because she knows if she beats her Jinx will be annoyed at her for the rest of the day. If she's not going against Jinx though, she would absolutely annihilate you.

Favorite Universal Rides : Gringotts, Forbidden Journey, Men in Black

Favorite Park: Universal Studios

This poor man has a horribly weak stomach.

Jayce is NOT a rollercoaster fan. He is strictly 3D and dark rides only, with very few exceptions.

Hell I think the Gringotts drop might be too much for him. Not the first cart, but the second cart for sure makes him feel uneasy. (I am projecting, sitting in the second cart was not fun for me LMAO)

I think he and Viktor would have a blast looking into the behind the scenes part of theme parks, especially the engineering element.

If they're in Universal Studios Hollywood they would absolutely do the Studio Tour.

With the level of charisma he has, I can see him LOVING meet and greets. He really loves playing along with the characters. By the end of the day he'll have his little autograph notebook full of characters.

Favorite Universal Rides : The Simpsons Ride, The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man, Transformers

Favorite Park: Universal Studios

Viktor doesn't really mind rollercoasters. He wouldn't die on them like Jayce, but he doesn't actively seek to ride them. Maybe if the line was short and the group wanted to ride it, sure.

Actually speaking of lines, he would get an accessibility pass so he wouldn't have to stand for extended periods of time. He would also make sure to sit down and take breaks as to not strain his leg too much.

Breaks could also mean going to watch the many shows Universal provides, like the Horror Makeup Show or The Bourne Stuntacular.

Back to rides though, he likes, no, LOVES Transformers. It's fast, the queue is very scientific-esc, and honestly.. transformers just give me machine herald vibes.

He is very awkward when it comes to meet and greets, so he's usually just taking the picture for Jayce. However, the only meet and greet he really truly looks forward to is the Transformers. He is extremely fascinated with the way Universal was able to create such an immersive and realistic looking replica of them.

I think him and Jayce would be intrigued by the interactive wands in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. They think it's fun that they found a way to create the illusion of magic by using sensors in the wands.

I think he'd like Forbidden Journey bc the ride makes you feel like you're flying, and he seemed to be having a blast in Ep 3 haha

Favorite Universal Rides : Transformers, Forbidden Journey, Skull Island: Reign of Kong (literally only to see that insanely realistic looking animatronic)

Favorite Park: Universal Studios

------------------------------

My god that took longer than I thought it would. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! I adore theme parks so this was a lot of fun to do.

Also as a bonus, I have a little paper Viktor cut out that I take basically everywhere, including Universal! Here's him in front of the Universal ball haha

[pillow4t]

These are just my favorite/main headcannons tbh

• HEAVY on the they/them Moria

• Cassidy is a girls girl™ If he's out on a mission with (insert literally any woman in ow) and some creepy guy is hitting on her/touching her, he'll go over and defend her, pretending to be her boyfriend so they'll back down

•Trans Junkrat!!! Trans Sombra!!!!

•Roadhog had a wife and kids before he joined the AFL idc what anyone says

•Baptist calls lifeweaver "Flè mwen" which means "my flower" in Haitian Creole (I used a translator so let me know if I'm wrong <3)

•Pharah stole one of Cassidy's hats back in his blackwatch days when she was 13, she still has it (and sometimes wears it around the bass)

•Genji has a drink named after him at the bar he used to frequent when he was younger

•Junkrats mom spoke Arabic so that's why he gravitated to Ana when he was first around her, he hasn't told anybody tho

•Mercy loves to harp on Cassidy about his smoking habits like she isn't living off of coffee and cigarettes (and sometimes a bagel bc of pharah😌

•Cassidy got Ana a "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt for Christmas, he bought it as a joke, she wears it regularly.

•Junkrat can swallow something then bring it back up, it's a great party trick, he thinks, but it usually grosses people out. It's come in handy on missions tho

•When Sojourn brings Murphy to the watchpoint, she gets SMOTHERED with pets, kisses and love from everyone. The same thing happens when Brigitte brings Mitzi around.

•Symetera and Lifeweaver have completely opposite tastes in music so they were CONSTANTLY arguing about who gets to put on music when they shared a dorm (sym usually won)

•When Hanzo laughs he snorts

•Lúcio has real bad arthritis and his skates are more braces than anything, he also has knee, hand and back braces at the ready

•Tracer gets Emily a souvenir from every place she gets deployed to

•Zenyattas favorite color is Yellow

•JunkerQueen carries around hamster treats in her pockets when Wreaking Ball is with her "For when the champ gets hungry!" She always says(in reality she just thinks it's cute how hamsters eat)

•Torbjorn sometimes brings his (older) kids around if the original group of Overwatch is there, he trusts the others...just not with his kids and is really reluctant with Brigitte

•Roadhog has been teaching Junkrat how to properly write and read and it's really improved how Junkrat functions when they're not fighting for survival in the outback

•Illari is a jewelry girl, but she cant wear to much because it gets in the way of training/fighting, but her collection of gold accessories is off the charts

•Sombra took the username D.va on social media and finds it SO funny that Dva has to use a different variation of her gamertag

•I feel like Reaper still has the same sense of humor he did in over/blackwatch and will constantly make witty jokes to Widowmaker or Moria who just give him a blank stare, Doomfist usually finds them funny tho

•Kiriko and Genji literally cannot cook to save their lives and usually takes two of them to make a small microwave meal

•B.O.B had his voice box removed when he was working for Ashes parents and even after all the years of her offering him to get his voice back, he chooses to use sign language instead but the offer is always on the table, Ashe says

•Lúcio has a 10k DJ set up in his room, and gets violent if anyone tries to mess with anything, literally almost took Cassidy's other arm off when he moved a bunch of dials, he'll show you around the soundboard if you ask tho!

•Kiriko is Hanzo and Genjis Cousin (Asa is their mom's sister <3)

•Reinhardt snores. LOUDLY. Brigitte had to get him a sleep apnea mask so she was able to sleep in the same vicinity as him

•Reaper is from Michigan🫶🏻

•Soldier76 gets made fun of by D.va for being old, but the second he's like "me and Ana are practically the same age" D.va gets all defensive "you just called a woman old!"

•Mei and Tracer share a room, they both sleep better with company

•(Blackwatch)Moria and Genji had an anime night where they would watch 10-20 episodes of any given series they were on, but

---

RAHHH OKAY I LITERALLY HAVE MORE LINER UP BUT I FEEL LIKE ITS ALREADY A SUPER LONG POST

But yeah :) I'm incapable of liking something a little bit so yeahhhh

[arolegos]

@fiberturkey89 OK HI i love treating ninjago charactes like my oc so heres the umm explanation for my morro design!!! YAP SESSION under cut cause i dont wanna flood ppl with my yapping ...

ok so to me he was a member of the cloud kingdom!!! i know this is a somewhat popular headcanon although im not sure who first came up with it. i just wanted a reason to make him look cool at first

every different realm and region has a majority species . To me . i could go on and on about each one that i Made up but for now i will focus on the CK species (plus euphrasia for additional um. idk. context?)

idk what id call the species name. ill just call them Writers . for now. Ummm as u can see i believe that their species has a LOT of wings. like a whole bunch. each person can have up to like 3 colours for their wings, with white being the main one. the colours don't have meaning Yet but idk . they're mostly whatever colour i think fit best with their character .

they also got Eyes on their wings . this would be the tertiary colour (or the same colour as secondary) . they have a Lot of feathers on their body (neck-chest, arm-wrist, around knee-ankle). They also have . featheered tails . Ok that's about as much as ill detail for their species bc i do have madeup culture for them But i don't want this to turn into a 9 paragraph yap session . I will focus on morro now

MORRO FAKE LORE! WOOHOO!!

ok so in the world where hes my oc. he was a part of the writers of destiny (or rather one in training but he lived in the cloud kingdom nonetheless) . anyways . he didn't really like the life there bc he always wanted to be More than just a writer of destiny. he wanted to be there to experience the damn thing himself, but that obviously wasn't allowed in the cloud kingdom (bc . well. u can see that theyre kinda strict on their rules (one destiny one path sort of thing or whatever) . so he eventually gets kicked out after enough misdemeanours (so probably he misbehaved like One time) . anyways they bound him to a flightless life (bc . flying was . well. a pretty big thing in a community full of people who have wings all over their body) and exiled him to Ninjago .

he cant fly back home so he doesn't. not that he would anyway. this is why he keeps his wings folded/closed almost all the time. they do not serve any purpose. he would love to chop them off if he could

he makes a few friends on the streets but theyre hardly 'friends' in the natural sense of that word.

also. in a fucked up twist of the world, he ends up being the elemental master of wind.

(this ones connected to another thing i also made up but if the Ninjago writers get to forget things and make things up at random So Can I; anyways my point is that wojira was defeated by Nyad . who was one of the two elements that matched the um amulet thing. and since she transformed into the sea i cant imagine the first EM of wind was just like Oh well okay then i guess its all over. In my mind they became one with the wind too and was probably from an even higher plane than the cloud kingdom but their powers ended up there anyway . Taken by some. Freak.)

around this time is when he meets wu and stuff. u know everything that happens from here so i will not be retelling shit but i am sooo adamant on them Not being father and son sorry. or at the very least i think it was only one-sided . i think wu wanted company and morro reminded him of a younger version of his older brother . thought of him as a 'son' bc thats the only way he could really see him. whereas morro thought wu was some stinky old man who was nice. very nice and sweet to him. promised him a destiny bigger than himself. but not a father. what even is a father? he does not see that in wu sorry . tgey will never be father and son to me . that relationship dynamic is too simple for the complexity of their relationship

yeagh well wu 'lied' about his destiny (I mean . of cours i dont actually think that way. wu kind of Had no way to tell if he really was destined to be the green ninja although It is kinda Freaked up to suggest it to a like. 10 year old. i guess he did learn his lesson . ) and morro was like Fuck u i choose my own destiny . And left and died. ok yea this is all stuff u already knew

(also i imagine he went looking for FSM's tombstone (aka he was Really just looking for the realm crystal) so he could go back home . to rewrite his own destiny. to be like Yeah i actually AM the green ninja and you cant stop me.)

okkokokk this is a bit graphic cause. believe it or not. morro dies. so like. i will be describing that a little

annywaayyyysss morro goes to the cave of despair and. gets lost. falls a bunch. at some point he realises hes like completely lost as in like to the point of no return . and while hes panicking there are Fuckinf geysers gushing out and rumbling the damn ground. he falls but he doesn't die immediately. he breaks his wings first though. not that they would've helped him fly out. but im just explaining why his wings look so wilted and like theyre just 'hanging off' in his ghost design. its bc they r. those are broken wings that cannot move naturally . he cannot keep them folded bc they are broken

his cause of death was thirst . starvation was a factor too but like. thirst got his ass first (as it would anyone). he ripped his sleeves while venturing around the cave but he did use some to try and wrap around his wounds . didn't really Help tho cause he died anyway .

Extra fucked up fake lore ? Writers have feathered tails that fall off to impending doom. as a final play on a destined fate (Dying!!!! LOL!!!!). so like days before morro dies the feathers of his tail fall off one by one until there are None left . if it makes it any better it doesn't hurt like a broken bone . just imagine if one day you woke up to your.? idk? leg gone? like it didn't hurt its just gone and you can feel that its gone but not the pain of the loss. if u get what i mean. or maybe thats not the right comparison. idk. your hair i guess?

. in his last moments his thoughts are not of any happy memories Because he straight up has none sorry gang i dont want him happy. Ok kidding im sure he thought of wu. im sure part of him wished wu had come after him. im sure a part of him wished he hadn't stepped into the cave. but i also Believe he probably welcomed death pretty nicely. with a warm hug and all. he probably leapt into that mfs arms.

anywaygsss . he gets sent to the cursed realm (Whicg is crazy im not going to lie but apparently he did a bunch of crazy shit while looking for the FSM's tomb so. maybe deserved. i dont know.) and the preeminent is like Yooo what is this freak doing here . Do my taxes. and morro is like Ok but u have to curse some realms. And the preeminent is like Yeah i already planned on doing that

also its only BC he went to the cursed realm that his wings are black in his ghost form!!! it looks more decayed and Cursed that way

ok yeah thats all the stuff i made up i think . unless i missed something. i dont think i did

also Lloyd would not have had his wings while he was being possessed . he only had like traces of them (ghost feathers would fall off his back when he moved but they weren't /actually/ there . it confused the fuck out of the ninja the first time. they were like Woah your voice got deeper. Why are you shedding feathers.)

morro is my favourite fucked up evil OC im so thankful they didn't give him a redemption arc thank yiu so much i love it when villains refuse to be redeemed even when given the chance im cheering adn clapping. morro never get revived. thank you.

[jinkoh]

(don't) wait up on me

wooseok x reader

summary: moving in with your childhood friend/former crush doesn't seem like a good idea but you were just so bad at saying no...

tags: childhood friends, roommates, mutual pining, slow burn, jealousy (y/n is dating someone else in between), severe case of idiots to lovers, hurt/comfort, gn reader (but wears make up/jewlery), reader is a year older, somewhat alternating pov, SFW; warnings: alcohol consumption

word count: ~13k

a/n: back with some ptg after a long time~ so i started writing this fic in september 2022 and uuuh i wasn't sure i would ever complete it but it would have been such a waste to abandon this when it already had over 10k. i wont lie this story is definitely a little messy but somehow i'm still attached, maybe just bc it's been with me for so long. either way i hope you enjoy. &go listen to navy blue or sth~

Masterlist

You'd known Wooseok since you were in first grade, when his family moved in next to yours. He was a year younger than you and so incredibly adorable. The two of you immediately grew close. Neither of you had any actual siblings but Wooseok really felt like a younger brother to you.

He followed you around so much, you probably spent more time together than apart.

Your parents were just as close and it wasn’t uncommon for both families to have dinner together. His mom clearly adored you, treating you as if you were her child as well. Their flat felt like a second home to you.

You went to the same schools too (you teased him about it, saying things like "aw, can't believe you followed me to middle school and now you're following me to high school too" without meaning anything by it, the way the tips of his ears grew red going unnoticed).

He hit a growth spurt sometime around high school, towering over most of his classmates and absolutely towering over you. Maybe things started to feel a little different to you, but you decided to ignore it. You had to ignore it in order to keep the friendship you had intact.

Even though you'd both hit puberty and all that stuff, he still didn't cut it down on the physical contact, throwing himself onto you like a giant dog that doesn't realize how big he is. The way it made your heart race felt all kinds of wrong. He was supposed to be like a brother to you!

After high school you moved away to study. You purposely chose a university a little further off, in order to put some distance between the two of you and get over this. (If Wooseok found himself tearing up a bit after sending you off he didn't let on.)

Wooseok and you had never texted much and suddenly starting with it now would have been awkward. So, aside from the one or the other "how have you been" or "look what i saw the other day" you were barely in touch, spare for the few weekends you visited home.

You found yourself missing him, but it also made you feel relieved when it gave the desired effect: You started thinking about him less, and even when you saw him the weird feelings from before had subsided.

When the time came for Wooseok to apply to universities as well, he applied to yours as well (just because it has a very good reputation for his subject of course!)

He didn't tell you, feeling kinda awkward about suddenly texting you with info like that. But when the acceptance letter came in he felt like it was too late to tell you. What was he supposed to say? By the way, I applied to your university and will go there next semester?

He didn't have to tell you though, because his mom already did it in his place.

After your move, she would send you food from time to time and the well mannered kid you were, you’d always call to give her your thanks.

In one of these calls—you wanted to thank her for the kimchi she’d sent—she told you about Wooseok being accepted to your university and looking for a place to live now.

The information caught you off guard. Of course, you hadn’t talked as much these days, but you still wondered why he didn’t tell you himself. You would have been so proud of him for getting accepted, especially since your university had a good reputation in the field he wanted to study. So why?

Still a little under shock, you barely paid attention when his mom continued on, about how she’d feel so much more at ease if she knew that Wooseok wouldn’t be by himself in the big town and how your mom had also told her that your lease was running out soon.

When a random, affirmative “mhm” of yours was met with excitement and relief at the other end of the line you knew you’d gotten yourself into something stupid.

“Really, y/n, I’m so glad that the two of you will live together. Of course, we’ll help you look for a flat.”

You didn’t quite share her excitement, but you also couldn’t back out now, not when she always treated you so well. And it wasn’t as though you were uncomfortable with Wooseok. You’d long gotten over whatever those odd feelings were!

Wooseok also wasn’t the fondest of his mom's administrations. She had practically painted him to be some lost helpless country bumpkin who wouldn’t survive a day in the city by himself. And that was the last thing he wanted you to think about him.

He'd always hated being a year younger than you, because he felt as if it caused him to miss out on so much. Not only had he never had the chance to be in the same classes with you; he also felt as if you didn’t take him seriously. Neither you nor your friends ever considered him cool. No, he was always just the cute "brother" that you took care of.

So yes, his mom doing this bothered him. But at the same time it was only thanks to her that he got to live with you now. And how could he ever hate that?

Seeing you everyday didn't really help the crush he had on you. The domesticity of it all was painful to bear; the way you looked all cute and sleepy when you got your morning coffee or how you rested your head against his shoulder as if it was nothing, while the two of you were huddled together on your tiny couch.

You got closer again too, of course you were, you were literally living together.

And even though he loved it to be close to you again, it also made him realize how truly impossible it seemed for you to see him as anything more than a friend or little brother.

It also felt as if you were drawing some kind of line between the two of you. You knew his friends and they sometimes hung out at the flat. At this point they were your friends too and when Hyunggu or whoever was hosting a party it was a given that Wooseok could bring you along.

But you never really let him spend time with your friends nor did you invite them over. It made him feel left out.

(You, of course, had a reason for that—but how would he know that?)

One evening when you got up from the couch, leaving the movie night behind in favor of getting ready to go out with your friends, he felt himself getting upset, a little jealous. Why couldn't you just stay home with him? Or your friends could come over instead? He didn't say that though. Instead he just watched you scurry around with a pout. When you retrieved something from the couch table, something inside of him snapped and he latched onto your wrist.

You chuckled the way one would laugh at the cute actions of a child and tried to shake him off, telling him you really had to get ready.

But instead of letting you go he just moved to wrap his arms around your waist.

"Can't you just stay home today?" he asked, still pouting but not looking up at you.

You felt your breathing catch and your heart skip a beat but quickly shook the feeling off. Chuckling again, you peeled his arms off and told him to stop being a baby.

He mumbled a barely audible "I'm not being a baby,” but you didn’t pay it any mind. Instead, you finished getting ready, grabbed your keys and made your way to the front door.

“Don’t wait up on me,” you shouted from the hallway, before letting the door fall shut behind you. 

The sentiment of his touch still lingered, leaving a tingly feeling in its wake. You knew this was bad, really bad.It was as if all the progress, the moving on, that you’d worked so hard on had gone down the drain in a split second, just because of a mere touch.

You leaned against the closed door for a moment, taking a few steadying breaths before reaching for your phone to text your best friend Claire. Sadly, your hand came up empty. You’d left your phone on the table.

But you didn’t want to go back inside, you couldn’t. So you decided to just leave, hurrying to make it on time to your meeting place with Claire.

She noticed right away that something was up with you, immediately asking if something had finally happened between you and Wooseok.

See, that’s the problem with oversharing: Even when you think they will never meet the person in question since he literally lives in a different town, you could never be entirely sure. And then you’re stuck with a best friend who knows that you used to crush on your now-roommate and teases you about it relentlessly.

When she wiggled her eyebrows at you knowingly, it was reconfirmed once more that not letting her meet him for more than a split second was the right choice. You loved Claire with all your heart, but you couldn’t trust her to keep her mouth shut.

She eventually let the topic go though, after you insisted that nothing had happened, and you made your way to the party she’d been invited to. It was her lawyer boyfriend’s crowd. Most people there seemed to be a little older than you, 4 to 5 years maybe, and so put together that you felt out of place in your worn out sneakers.

You sat in some corner nursing your drink when a guy came up to sit next to you asking if you were doing okay. He was handsome with his slicked back hair and the rolled up sleeves of his white dress shirt.

He wanted to know what's wrong and because he was so sweet and because you were already getting tipsy, you actually told him about what was preying on your mind. He listened to you calmly, letting you get it all out. Then he smiled softly. “Maybe you just needed a bit of a distraction?”

You didn't sleep with him that night. You could have, it was clear from the way he looked at you. But you hadn’t wanted to and he hadn’t pressured you either.

Instead you just talked for a really long time at the party and he walked you back to the station afterwards. You talked so much and walked so slowly that you missed your bus, so he offered to call you a cab. You declined, but he insisted.

Before the cab arrived he asked if he could have your number.

An apologetic smile crossed your face. “I actually forgot my phone.”

“Ah I see, guess I'm being rejected.” He chuckled defeatedly.

“No, I promise it’s not an excuse. I really did forget my phone. My friend scolded me about it too.”

He considered you for a moment, his gaze wandering from one eye to the other before he nodded slowly.

“Mhm, then, how about this-” He started cramming out a pen and a piece of paper from his bag, scribbling something down before he handed it to you. “I’ll just give you my number, and if you feel like it you text me. And if you don’t, you don’t. Okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

The cab arrived and he paid before opening the door for you and saying goodbye with a kiss to your cheek.

It was probably around 3 or 4 am when you unlocked the door to your apartment. You tried to be quiet, tiptoeing through the living room to get to your room, when you noticed soft breathing noises. Wooseok was curled up on the sofa, that was way too small for his height, sleeping soundly.

You walked over and pulled a blanket over him, shaking your head with a fond smile. "I told you not to wait up on me,” you whispered barely audibly, more to yourself than to him.

He blinked his eyes open and looked at you through the dark, his hand latching onto yours.

"You forgot your phone.” His voice was thick with sleep. “I was worried.”

You swallowed around the lump that was building in your throat and pulled your hand away.

"If you're awake now you should go to sleep in your bed.”

He made some grumpy noise instead of a proper reply and you just disappeared to your room.

When you were laying in bed, you still saw his sleepy eyes in front of you, looking at you through the darkness with drowsy affection.

It drove you crazy.

You tiptoed out of bed and got the little piece of paper out of your jeans pocket, before you slipped back under your blankets.

And then you texted the guy.

You met up with him a few times after that and he absolutely pampered you. He was always so sweet, inviting you to dinner or a coffee and seeing you home afterwards.

Wooseok caught on eventually, watching you with eagle eyes when you put on perfume or wore shoes that he knew you saved for important occasions. You didn't have to say you were going on dates for him to know and when he eventually asked about it you admitted to meeting someone.

It stung when he heard you say it but he couldn't stop his curiosity. So he asked more about him, his name and what he was doing and how old he was.

He immediately regretted asking. Knowing that he was older and a lawyer just made his insecurities worse. Curiosity killed the cat has never rang so true.

Why did it have to be someone older than you? Why did it have to be someone with a proper job and money while he was just some broke student?That guy would treat you to fancy dinners, while Wooseok was the pathetic roommate for whom you had to cover the rent when his money was getting tight. It haunted him but he couldn't say anything about it. What right did he have?

You started spending less time at the flat and more time with the lawyer guy.

It was good to have a distraction, you told yourself (even if it didn't really work at all. even if you were still thinking about Wooseok all the time, the way he looked at you, the way his hand felt wrapped around your wrist).

Aside from your uncooperative heart, the dates were going well. It had felt a little one sided at first, you only sharing your worries and him not sharing any of his. But as you spent more time together he also started to confide in you about stress from work. He told you about his family too, his older sister, his mom and all these things.

"Maybe you can meet them sometime" he said one afternoon and it sounded casual but when you met his eyes you felt a heavy meaning behind it.

You just smiled and nodded, saying you'd love to but feeling a little unsettled about it. Maybe it wasn't fair to meet him when you were clearly having feelings for someone else.

He noticed your sudden change in mood though and reassuringly took your hand in his.

"No pressure, dear. I'm not trying to force you into anything, okay?"

He was always like that, showing you how interested he was in you but still giving you time and space.

Eventually, he asked you if you wanted to make it official and date him. You hesitated, not sure if it was okay to say yes, but he smiled softly and told you that he didn’t mind if you didn't feel that way about him yet or that you were still hung up on your childhood friend. You could just try, right?

So you found yourself saying yes.

Dating him was nice. He still treated you well, taking you out for dinner or buying presents for you (even though you kept insisting he didn't need to). You started spending most of your weekends at his place and it almost felt as if you were living someone else's life.

His flat was big and clean and fancy. There weren't any dirty dishes on the counter (that Wooseok didn't do again), because your boyfriend had a dishwasher that took care of it. His couch too looked expensive and was actually big enough for two people to sit on comfortably. (Nothing like the small ratty couch in your flat, that barely fit Wooseok on it by himself, leaving the two of you to always huddle together in order not to fall off.)

Everything in your boyfriend's flat was better from an objective point of view. But it didn't feel much like a home.

You were at his place again that weekend, sitting together on his couch and watching TV.

After glancing at the time and realizing it was already afternoon you untangled yourself from him in order to head back.

"You don't have to go home though. You can just stay."

You shook your head. “I can’t, I have to prepare for my classes.”

“Can’t you do it from here?”

“I don’t have my things here.”

“Why not?”

"Huh?" You looked at him in confusion.

"I mean. Why don't you have some of your things here?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're here every weekend anyway. Why not leave some stuff here?"

You just stared at him, not knowing how to reply. It never occurred to you to do that. Somehow you'd always felt like a guest in his home. Clearly it hadn't been his intention to make you feel that way but you did and it didn’t seem appropriate for a guest to leave things around.

"Or you know," he continued "you could also just move in. I have enough space."

You hadn’t known what to say before, but now you were completely at a loss of words. You just stared at him in disbelief. Eventually, he smiled and leaned in to you, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear before he got up from the couch.

"Just think about it, hm?"

You nodded and then he helped you gather your clothes and drove you back.

When you reached home Wooseok was  sitting in the living room. He barely acknowledged you walking in. Things had been like this between the two of you for a while now; a little awkward, a little cold. You hated it but maybe that’s what was necessary in order to get over him?

You sighed and went to the kitchen, being welcomed by a stash of dishes in the sink. It struck a nerve with you, but you didn’t want to pick a fight, so you just sighed again. After getting yourself a glass of water you disappeared into your room to prepare for classes. But somehow you couldn’t stop thinking about what your boyfriend had said. Maybe it wasn't a bad idea?

When you got out of your room later that evening with your laptop under your arm Wooseok was sitting there again (or still?). You squeezed yourself onto the couch next to him, but instead of scooting over he just got up to leave without even saying a single word.

It made you angry. Why was he treating you like this? You glared after him but when he didn't turn around you snapped. 

"Are you being serious right now?!"

He turned around then, looking annoyed. "What?"

"Are you seriously going to ignore me like this? You haven't seen me all weekend and this is what I come home to?!"

You were angry but mostly you were hurt by his behavior.

Wooseok just shrugged. "If it bothers you then don't come home I guess. You're at his flat all the time anyway, why do you even bother?"

That stung. That really really stung.

You didn't want to have tears welling up in your eyes but you couldn't help it.

"Maybe I should! He asked me to move in with him, and I might just say yes!"

You shut your laptop angrily to get back to your room. When you walked past him Wooseok was looking at you with big eyes.

"...are you really?"

You avoided his gaze. "Maybe. What's it to you?"

With that you disappeared to your room, slamming the door behind you.

After the fight you texted your boyfriend if you could stay with him for a bit. So, the next day after classes he used his break to pick you up before driving back to work. Left alone in the flat you felt a little lost. You'd never been there by yourself and somehow you were worried about touching or dirtying or using anything. What if something broke? You supposed though, that this feeling would go away if you stayed a little longer. You sat down on his couch to do your university work and then ordered food because you didn't dare to use his kitchen.

You stayed like this with him for a few days, him often working late but always making sure to call you in his lunch break. It was sweet, really.

One evening, when he came home a little earlier than usual, he caught you sitting on the couch, the pizza carton from your dinner still on the couch table. He looked at it kinda funnily and you immediately apologized for not throwing it out yet.

But he just shook his head with a smile. "Y/n, have you been ordering pizza for dinner every day this week?"

"...maybe."

He laughed softly before he leaned in to kiss you on the cheek. “You know I have a kitchen right? You're allowed to use it."

You chuckled awkwardly.  “I'll keep that in mind."

And yet, the next day, you found yourself eating pizza again.

As the end of the week approached, you realized you hadn't packed for staying a long time. Of course, you could hypothetically wash at his place but it was another thing you didn't feel comfortable doing and somehow the prospect of him handling your dirty laundry felt even worse. So, it was time to stop at home to pick up some fresh clothes …or to go home for good.

The two of you were cuddling on Thursday night, when you told him and he was mumbling into your neck that he could just drive you on the weekend. But you insisted on going by yourself. You felt it was better not to let him run into Wooseok right now but you didn't tell him that.

When you unlocked the door at home on Friday it was so quiet you assumed you were alone. You went to the kitchen to fetch your favorite tea. But as soon as you walked in, you stilled for a moment. It was squeaky clean, no dishes anywhere, nor any crumbs.

Still caught up in your surprise you didn't notice that Wooseok had walked up to the kitchen.

"You're back," he said, standing in the door frame with big surprised eyes.

Seeing him again after a few days made your chest feel warm. None of the anger of the last time you'd seen him was left, you were just glad to have him around. You looked at him for a moment before you shrugged.

"This is still my home too, you know."

"I thought… maybe you wouldn't come back anymore."

You raised the package of tea in some sort of wave. "I'm just picking up a few things."

Wooseoks face fell. "Oh."

“Yeah.” 

The air between you turned tense again, so you tried to escape the situation by slipping past him into the living room to gather some things. Wooseok silently trailed behind you like a lost puppy, as you went from room to room to put this and that into your bag. When you went over to your bed to pack your pillow, Wooseok was watching you from the door frame.

"Can't you just... stay?"

You already wanted to decline but when you looked up and your eyes met his, your heart sank. He looked so sad. You just couldn't say no to him

You put your pillow back down before you slowly nodded. "Maybe just for a bit."

The two of you made some makeshift dinner in the kitchen together and even though it was a bit of an interesting combination it tasted like heaven after days of pizza only. The rest of the evening was spent huddled together on the couch. It felt familiar and comfortable and like home. Only now you realized how much you'd missed this over the past week. 

You completely forgot that you were supposed to go back to your boyfriend, only getting reminded when your phone vibrated on the table later that night, a message popping up on the screen.

where are you?

Wooseok must have seen it too from the way he quickly averted his eyes when you glanced over at him. He was trying really hard to look anywhere but your phone screen, when you picked it up to reply. 

sorry I’ll stay home after all

Then you set your phone aside again, resting your head against Wooseok’s shoulder and focusing back on the movie.

After a while he cleared his throat.

"Don't you have to like... go back to your boyfriend or something?" It sounded timid.

"Not today."

You thought you saw a little smile tug at the corners of his lips but you didn't comment on it.

It was the first weekend in a while that you were spending at the flat with Wooseok. It really felt as if you'd never fought in the first place and you could almost trick yourself into thinking the awkwardness hadn't happened either.

But then from time to time there were small moments where you felt as if he was tiptoeing around you, like the way his hand sometimes halted before touching you and then pulled away, or how he looked at you as if you could just disappear any second.

On Monday you had to go back to your boyfriend’s place since you'd left your laptop (and other things) at his and you could only last so long without them.

Somehow you felt caught between the chairs. You knew your boyfriend would want you to stick around. But you’d only just made up with Wooseok and you didn’t want to leave him alone again. You couldn’t.

You went to his flat when you knew he was at work, messaging him that you'd pick up your things. He didn't seem happy about it but he didn't try to stop you either. What he did try though, was telling you to wait until the evening so he could drive you home. But you felt as if in the end, instead of driving you home he'd probably convince you to stay after all so you declined.

You met up with him later that week for dinner. He picked you up with a flower bouquet in his hand. Even now after you’d been dating for a while, he was still showering you in small gifts and tokens. It honestly felt a little too much, as if he was trying to buy your affection, but you tried to be grateful, since convincing him to stop hadn’t worked.

While the two of you were sitting at your table, waiting for the food to come, he asked you if you'd thought about moving in together.

“I’m not trying to pressure you,” he assured. “I just want to know what you’re thinking.”

You slowly moved your head from side to side. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve only just patched things up with Wooseok, I don’t want to risk this…”

Your boyfriend nodded but there was worry in his eyes.

"I know you don't want to hurt him. But you can't always put him first, dear. Maybe a little distance would be for the best. You need to stop waiting for something that won’t happen."

His words made you swallow. Was that really what it was? Were you waiting? And did it really have no chance of happening? 

You switched topics after that, talking about this and that, from work and university to your upcoming birthday. He asked if you’d be okay to spend your birthday evening with him since it conveniently fell onto a Saturday. Somehow you considered for a moment, racking your brains for potential reasons to decline, before ultimately saying yes when you came up empty.

After dinner, the two of you strolled through town for a bit. Most shops were already closed but you stopped here and there to gaze in through the lit up store windows. At a jeweler, your gaze got stuck on a necklace in the display. Your boyfriend noticed and smiled.

"You like that one, huh?"

"Yeah. actually—no that will probably sound childish."

Your boyfriend bumped you in the side "No, tell me."

"Actually that necklace is from an older collection. It came out years ago and I fell in love at first sight when I saw it back then."

"Oh, like what happened when I first saw you?" He grinned and you rolled your eyes before turning back to the necklace.

"I actually made a promise to myself back then. That I would buy it with my first proper paycheck."

"That's cute,” he said and it somehow made you feel childish after all. It made sense though, the price of the necklace was probably just peanuts to him with his well paying lawyer job. You shook your head and dragged him to move on. "Let’s go."

When your birthday rolled around you were woken up by a timid knock on your door. You groaned in reply and Wooseok shuffled in, a glass with chocolate milk in his hand. It was a small tradition from when you were kids to have chocolate milk with colorful sugar sprinkles on birthdays. The last time you’d done this was probably when you were around 7th grade, so him reviving this tradition now that you were living together warmed your heart.

He set it onto your night stand with a small smile. “Happy birthday, y/n.”

You sat up in bed to take a sip from it. "Thank you.”

“You have a little—” Wooseok chuckled, gesturing at his lips. “Yeah, you got it,” he continued as your tongue darted out to get rid of the milk stuck on your upper lip.

Then you realized the slightly burned smell wafting into your room.

"Uhm, Wooseok, do you have something on the stove?"

His eyes grew wide and he rushed out of the room with a panicked “Oh, no, the pancakes!”

When you came to the kitchen a little later, it was an utter mess. Wooseok was scurrying around trying to plate some slightly burned pancakes with cinnamon and maple syrup. As soon as he noticed your presence, he started pouting.

"You weren't supposed to come in," he complained, his eyes wandering to the little tray he'd started to prepare with a glass of orange juice and the plate of pancakes on it.

Seeing the effort he’d put into this (even if it didn’t go perfectly well) gave you a fuzzy feeling in your stomach. 

"Sorry," You said with an apologetic smile, feeling sorry for destroying the surprise. "But this way we can eat together?"

He was still pouting but reluctantly agreed and the two of you sat at the table to have breakfast. He told you about what he'd come up with for your birthday, giving you a bunch of options to choose from. It included stuff like watching your favorite movie, going to the zoo, taking a walk, playing laser tag, etc.

It was cute how he'd thought about what to do for your birthday but still gave you room to choose yourself. Honestly speaking, you wanted to do everything on his list.

Sadly, since you'd promised to have an early dinner with your boyfriend, that fell flat. He'd managed to reserve a table at a really fancy restaurant that had a sheer endless waiting list. So, since you’d taken your time with breakfast and would have to get ready before dinner there wasn't really that much time to do many things from the list.

You didn't dare to look up at Wooseok when you told him.

"Oh," he replied. "But, uhm, do you still want to do something before that though?"

“I’d love that.” A relieved smile washed over his face at your words.

The two of you decided to get some coffee from your favorite café and then just strolled through the park close to your college. Two geese were waddling around on the grass, loudly quacking at each other.

"Don't they kinda sound like old ladies having an argument?" You giggled.

Wooseok joined in on your laughter. "Marianne," he quacked. "Did you really bring your divorced son to church on sunday?!"

You bursted into laughter, almost spitting out the sip of coffee in your mouth.

"Listen, Karen," You chimed in, your voice funny too. "The lord forgives all."

The two of you fooled around like that for a while, Wooseok making you laugh to the point where tears formed in your eyes. You couldn't remember the last time you'd had this much fun. While your boyfriend was a sweetheart, he wasn't one to joke around that much.

After a while your eyes fell onto a clock in the park making your eyes grow wide. It was way later than anticipated and you really had to get going now in order to get ready. You didn't want to admit it but you would have much rather spend your time with Wooseok than to go to that fancy dinner. But the table was already booked and you'd promised to go. So, the two of you went home, you got ready and then waited for your boyfriend to pick you up.

The restaurant was really nice but it once again gave you that feeling of living someone else's life instead of your own. That feeling had been exciting at first, but it was slowly starting to shift to something slightly uncomfortable. Maybe you liked your own life better, burned pancakes and all.

It was just an evening though! And your boyfriend had gone all out to make this possible!

The tiny meals with their fancy names didn't mean anything to you and maybe pizza would have done the job but you smiled and nodded when asked if it was tasty. You shared a dessert, some fancy flan with liquor in it. It was a little too bitter for you but you didn't want to say. You already felt like a child between all these chic people, you didn't want to out yourself as someone with a childlike palate on top of it.

"I hope you enjoyed dinner?" your boyfriend asked with the sweetest smile

You smiled and nodded, opening your mouth when he held out a spoon full of dessert for you.

"You really didn't have to do all this though," You said after you swallowed.

"But i wanted to"

"Thank you."

"Now are you ready for your present?"

You looked at him in confusion. You thought this dinner itself was already the present. What more was going to come?

He took out a small box from his jacket and slid it over to you.

"What is this?" Your hands felt oddly sweaty. It obviously wasn't a ring – the box was long and flat – but it still looked expensive.

"Open it.”

The moment your eyes fell onto the shiny necklace inside, you started feeling sick to your stomach.

It was pretty, of course it was. Because this was your necklace. The necklace you'd wanted to buy yourself.

You didn't know what to say and just stared at it.

"Are you happy?"

You felt like crying.

No, you weren't happy at all but you also couldn't really say that after receiving an expensive gift, right?

"Uh- it's unexpected," You pressed out.

"I knew how much you wanted this."

"...Yeah"

"You were giving me a hint when you told me that story weren’t you?"

Your head shot up and you stared at him in confusion. "What?"

“I thought you were trying to tell me to get it for you, since you can't afford it.”

“No,” You whispered, your voice shaking. "I meant it when I said I wanted to get it for myself.”

"Ah, I see. But now you can just save up for something else instead." He looked caught off guard at first but quickly smiled again. “Shall we slowly get going?"

You nodded, still feeling sick. You closed the box again and stuffed it into your bag while your boyfriend paid. When you left he reached out for one of your hands but you put them into your pockets, pretending not to notice.

"You're coming home with me, right?"

You knew it had been implied in the plans to go back to his place and spend the night together. But right now you just wanted to go home.

Why did you always have to go to his place anyway? Of course, he didn't have a roommate and it was a bigger place and all that. But from time to time it would have been nice if he'd at least offered to come visit you instead of always assuming that you'd to come over…

When you didn't reply he softly nudged you in the side.

"Where are you with your head, love?"

"Ah," you looked at him before averting your eyes again. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." His hand pushed back a strand of your hair that had fallen into your forehead. "By the way, where is the necklace? Should I put it on for you?"

"I'm already wearing my scarf now." You chuckled in an attempt to make it come out more lighthearted, but it just sounded awkward. "Maybe later."

"We can just take the scarf off and put it back on?" He suggested, his hand already moving to remove it.

You stopped him by holding onto the soft fabric.

"Maybe later," You repeated with a little more force this time

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"So, should we go home?" He asked and it somehow irked you how naturally he referred to his place as home, as if it was yours too.

"I think I want to go back to my place tonight, I'm kinda tired."

He frowned. "What's up with you?"

"I just—It was just a lot today."

"Is it about the necklace?"

You didn't reply.

"Does it bother you that I got it for you?"

"I just," you pressed out, your voice feeling choked up "It was something i wanted to get for myself..."

He sighed. "Don't be so upset, dear. It was a simple miscommunication. You can just buy a different necklace or spend your money on other things.”

He  didn't seem to get your point at all.

"I don't want to spend my money on other things."

"Are you really angry at me for buying you a necklace you wanted?!"

You shrugged, fighting against the tears welling up in your eyes.

"I didn't just want the necklace. I wanted to buy it."

"Fine," he said, sounding annoyed. You couldn't remember hearing his voice like this before. "If it bothers you so much we can just bring it back and you can choose a different one. And then someday if you have the money you can buy this one for yourself.”

"It won't be the same anymore. If I buy it now it won't feel the same.”

"So what do you want me to do then?"

"I don't know. I just wanna go home."

“Okay. I'll drive you.”

You shook your head. “No, not today.”

"C'mon just let me drive you. I'll feel unsettled to let you go by yourself at this time of day."

"I'm okay. Really. So please..."

"Fine." He turned to go to his car that one of the restaurant’s workers had already driven up again.

"Wait," you followed a few steps behind.

He turned back at you with a smug smile, ready to open his car door for you. But instead he was met with the little jewelry box that you held out to him.

He sighed. "You really don't want to keep it?"

"I can't."

You watched him as he drove off and the second he was gone you crouched down on the pavement, sobbing.

You were hurt and frustrated. Of course, your boyfriend hadn't meant any harm, but it felt as if he didn't understand you at all. Him gifting you this necklace almost felt as if he was looking down on you, telling you that you wouldn't ever be able to afford it yourself anyway. Maybe you were being overly petty about this, but you wished he had at least said sorry instead of only justifying himself or trying to convince you it wasn't something to be hurt about. He'd tainted this for you and even if you'd buy this necklace for yourself someday it would always have a bitter after taste.

You cried and sobbed your heart out, ignoring the odd looks you got from people passing by. You didn't feel like getting up and walking to the station, nor did you want to sit in the tram looking like this. But you couldn't call a cab, because your boyfriend was right, you were just some dumb little girl without money.

This was probably the worst birthday you’d ever had, you thought. But then you remembered the way it started, and the memory of it managed to put a small smile on your lips.

You took out your phone and opened Wooseok’s chat.

can you pick me up? you texted, your finger hovering over the button for a while before pressing send. 

It took like two seconds before Wooseok replied and asked for your location. You sent it to him and then stuffed your phone back into your pocket, hugging your legs to your chest and waiting for him to arrive. Your cheeks felt weird from all the crying and your nose was running and you were cold and you just hoped he’d be there soon.

It probably took him around 15 minutes and you had no idea how he’d managed to do that. He came to a halt with his bicycle when he spotted you, getting off the saddle and pushing it towards you. There was worry in his eyes and his breath came out in puffs and you'd never been this glad to see someone before.

Wooseok didn't ask any questions. Instead, he just parked his bike and crouched down in front of you. He got out a handkerchief from his pocket, wiped away your tears and helped you blow your nose. You should have probably felt terrible about it, having someone younger than you take care of you like that, but you just let it happen.

He helped you up and told you to hold on tight when you got onto the back of his bicycle. You wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned your head against his back. The warmth of his body felt soothing and comforting and you just let him take you home in silence.

As soon as you arrived, he absolutely babied you, making  tea and wrapping you into a cozy blanket as you huddled together on the couch.

He still didn't ask what happened and you were grateful for it, not really ready to talk about it and also unsure if maybe you'd overreacted after all and the whole fight was ridiculous.

Wooseok put on your comfort movie on the TV and you rested your head against his shoulder, feeling your eyes fall shut not even a third into the movie. 

When you woke up the next day, you found yourself tugged to bed without any memory of getting there. You were still drowsy and sleepy and not aware of your surroundings or anything, really.

Checking your phone for the time, you noticed that your boyfriend had left you a message asking if you got home safely. Seeing it made the memories of the evening return. You recalled the overly fancy dinner and most of all you recalled his oh so thoughtful gift. 

Tears immediately welled up in your eyes again and you hated it. It made you feel pathetic and as though you were making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe you really were being overdramatic, making it bigger than it was.

But it felt as if he destroyed something really important to you. It hurt.

What hurt even more was that he clearly didn't understand your problem at all. To him it was just some necklace,  he couldn't see the value behind it. He couldn't see that it was more than a necklace to you. It was a symbol of making it, of achieving something by yourself.  It stood for independence. And he took that all away from you, by buying you the one thing you didn’t want anyone else to get for you.

You set your phone aside without opening his message and buried yourself under your blanket again, unwilling to face the day yet.

It was Sunday, so with no classes to  attend you were free to do just that. For a while you drifted in and out of sleep, finding yourself sobbing into your pillow in between.

All of this made you feel so wrong.

It wasn't just the necklace. The necklace somehow triggered something bigger; it made you question your whole relationship with him. It made you question why you always felt like someone else when you were with him. As if you were a little kid trying on your mom's high heels.

And you were tired of it. You wanted your own shoes back.

After a while—you must have slipped back to sleep yet again—you heard soft knocking against your door. When you groaned in reply, the door opened a crack and Wooseok stuck his head in.

"Y/n?" he asked softly before slipping into the room and closing the door behind him, a steaming cup in his hand.

You hid your face behind the blanket, convinced that you must be looking like pure horror from all the crying. Heck, now that you thought of it you couldn't remember taking off your make up yesterday so you probably had terrible panda eyes. Probably already did by the time Wooseok picked you up yesterday. 

It was quiet for a moment, before you heard the hesitant shuffling of steps coming closer.

"I made you tea."

You didn't reply nor did you come out from under the blanket.

"Uh, I'll just–uh–put this here," he mumbled and you heard him set the cup onto your night stand.

It got quiet again and you thought he'd leave but then you felt the mattress dip as he sat down on the edge of it. He sat there for a while not really saying anything. You didn't move either.

"Are you okay?" he eventually tried again.

"I'm okay," you replied but your voice came out croaky and thin.

"Won't you come out?"

You shook your head.

"Why not?"

"I'm a mess"

"C'mon, y/n, i saw you after your wisdom tooth removal when you were drooling all over yourself. What could be worse than that?"

He had a point there. This was Wooseok after all, he already saw your most shameful sides anyway. Hesitantly, you pulled down the blanket revealing your puffy face.

Wooseok smiled at you softly. “See? I've totally encountered worse."

Now you had to giggle too and it somehow made tears roll down your cheeks again. 

Wooseok's eyes grew wide and he panicked, lifting his hands to do something, anything, against the tears but not really knowing what. Watching flail so helplessly made you giggle more which in turn made you cry more too. You wiped at the corners of your eyes still smiling as you mumbled a quiet "You're an idiot."

He shrugged. “Takes one to know one."

You just rolled your eyes at him and it got quiet again.

"Tea?" Wooseok asked after a while.

You nodded before sitting up in your bed, leaning against the headboard. He reached out to you, as if he was trying to help you sit (even though you clearly didn't need the help) before he moved his attention to the tea instead, passing the cup to you. You took it in both hands, blowing on it a few times before taking a careful sip.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

You didn't look up at him and stared at the steam of your cup instead. "I don't know."

"You don't have to"

"It's probably stupid anyway."

"If it makes you cry like that it isn't stupid."

You swallowed, feeling tears well up yet again at his words. For fucks sake why couldn't you just stop crying already?!

You shrugged. “We went out for dinner."

"Okay," he replied patiently.

"He bought me jewelry."

"Mhm."

"A necklace."

"Okay."

"...It was my necklace," you finally supplied, convinced that Wooseok wouldn't even remember and that you'd have to explain more.

But the moment you said it his eyes widened in surprise "The first paycheck necklace?"

Somehow it moved you that he remembered it.

You nodded slowly.

"And did he uh... did he know?"

"...Yeah."

Wooseok frowned at you. "Then why would he buy it?!"

Relief washed over you when he asked that, making you feel less like an overdramatic nuisance and more as if your frustration about this was actually valid

"He meant well," you mumbled.

"You don't have to defend him."

"He thought i really wanted it," you defended him anyway.

"But you didn't just want it. You wanted to buy it yourself and he knew that."

You nodded. "Yeah."

He nodded too, realizing that maybe his words weren't the most comforting.

"I'm sorry that happened, y/n"

"Thank you."

"...so what will you do?"

"About him? I don't know..."

Wooseok hadn't meant him, he'd meant the necklace. But when you seemed so unsure about being with your boyfriend a small part of him felt hopeful, almost glad.

He immediately shushed that part though. You were having a horrible time and there was nothing he hated more than seeing you unhappy. This wasn't the time to hope for anything.

"Do you- uh," he interrupted himself, not sure what to do with himself. "Can I do anything for you?"

"Turn back time maybe?"  A shallow laugh escaped your lips.

"You know I would," he said. And he meant it. If he could, he would turn back time to before you even met that guy. "But is there anything a little less impossible?"

Honestly, all you wanted right now were comfort cuddles, but you didn't know if you could ask for that. You stared at the tips of your fingers that were wrapped tightly around the tea cup.

"Maybe we could watch a movie?"

He smiled fondly and nodded.

"Wanna move to the living room then?"

You hesitated. "No."

"Oh." he blushed and looked away from you. "Okay. I'll uh get my laptop then..."

He got up again to leave, but before reaching the door he turned back around to you

"What about food?"

You shrugged.

"I'll get you something."

"...Thank you"

After a while, he came back, carrying way too many things at once as he maneuvered himself into the room. He had his laptop under his arm, a package of waffles in one hand, a small bowl with cut up apples in the other and it seemed like he had something in the pocket of his hoodie too.

You had to chuckle when you saw him coming in

"Do you need help?"

"Mostly I need you to scoot over a bit."

You obliged and he carefully set the food on your nightstand while you pulled out the laptop from underneath his arm.

He halted for a moment before he sat down next to you, slipping under the blanket that you held up for him.

Whatever was in his pocket was making a rustling plastic noise as he sat down.

"Ah, right," he mumbled, pulling out the package of cleansing tissues you usually kept in the bathroom and handing it over to you.

"You know, in case you want to..." He vaguely gestured at his face.

"That bad, huh.” You grabbed the package from his hand with a chuckle.

"It's fine."

You wiped your face, all the smeared left over makeup coming off, while he set up his laptop.

"So, what do you want to watch?" 

"Something corny and romantic."

He scrunched up his face but didn't reject the idea. Instead he googled romantic movies and put on one that he'd heard of before.

In hindsight though, it probably hadn’t been the best choice.

You were munching on a waffle that Wooseok had passed to you as the first scene of Breakfast at Tiffany's rolled over the screen, Audrey Hepburn longingly staring at the bracelets behind the display window.

Wooseok noticed his mistake immediately but it was already too late. When he glanced over at you, big elephant tears were running down your cheeks again, dripping onto the waffle you were eating.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know— should I put on something else?"

You shook your head, still munching on the tear drained waffle.

"I gave it back to him," you mumbled between bites, your eyes still focused on the laptop screen where the movie continued.

"That's good."

"I really wanted to buy it."

"You could still buy it?"

You shook your head again before resting it against Wooseok's shoulder. You felt him tense up for a moment at the sudden proximity.

"It wouldn't be the same."

"... Yeah. I know."

For a while it was silent except for the sound of the movie running, but then Wooseok softly raised his voice again.

"We'll find something new." He scooted down on your bed a bit so he could rest his head against yours.

"We'll find something new that you can gift yourself. And then we won't tell anyone about it so no one can beat you to buying it because no one will know."

"You will know."

"Yeah. But I'd never buy it for you."

"Pinky promise?" You held out your hand in front of him and he intertwined your finger with his

"Pinky promise."

You knew you couldn’t just ghost your boyfriend forever, he didn’t deserve that. So after holing up at home with Wooseok the rest of the weekend, you decided to face the music on Monday. 

You wrote him a message, telling him you got home well and if he was okay to meet up with you one of these days. The two of you decided on Tuesday. He asked if he should pick you up after classes and take you back to his place but you declined, asking for a walk in the park instead.

Frankly speaking, you weren’t sure how the conversation would go. You weren’t sure what consequences would be drawn for the two of you. But whether you’d break up or not you had the urge to meet in a neutral place. Somehow throughout this relationship, you’d always intruded in his places. Starting with the party where you met, a party of his friends where you’d barely belonged, and continuing from there: His home, his car, his favorite restaurants, the cafés he recommended—you were always his guest. But this time, you needed to be on equal footing.

“Are you going to… break up with him?” Wooseok asked hesitantly between spoons of ice cream, when you told him about it on Monday evening.

“I don’t know,” you replied truthfully, before dipping your spoon into the shared family pack that was sitting on the couch table.

He nodded. “Just do what feels right.”

“I’ll try.” 

“Should we leave some of the ice cream in case you need it tomorrow?”

You looked at the box thoughtfully before taking another spoonful. “Nah, I don’t have that kind of self-restraint.”

“Thank god.”

“You know,” you mindlessly started again. “I wish I could have felt at home with him the way I do with you.”

Wooseok looked at you with an unsatisfied frown. "Why? Is it not enough when it's me you feel at home with? Isn’t one home enough?"

You giggled. “No, I think you’re right. It’s enough, as long as I have you.”

You weren’t sure what you’d had expected, but somehow everything felt off and different when you met your boyfriend on Tuesday. It was as if a single weekend had made strangers out of you. 

From the moment your eyes met each other on your campus, the two of you were stiff. You didn’t know how to greet him. Were you supposed to kiss and hug? That’s what you usually did but today you didn’t want to.

Seemingly, your boyfriend had similar struggles because he just awkwardly raised his hand in a wave.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” you replied.

You stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say before he nodded in the direction of the park. “Should we go?”

“Yeah…”

The weird silence returned as you set foot into the park and continued for quite a while afterwards. You could hear the geese quacking in the distance and you would have said something about it if the one walking with you had been Wooseok. But it wasn't.

“So,” he said eventually. “You didn’t just meet me to take a walk in silence right?”

“No.”

“Well, then talk.”

“I just… I felt really hurt about the present to be honest,” you carefully started.

He scoffed. “Yeah, I noticed.”

You immediately regretted bringing it up. Maybe you were being stupid for making such a fuss after all.

But then Wooseok’s words rang in your head again giving you a little confidence. If it makes you cry like that it isn't stupid.

You took a deep breath.

“I told you that I wanted to buy this necklace for myself and what it meant to me. So when you just bought it for me, it felt as if you didn’t listen to me.”

“I already told you it was a misunderstanding. Usually when your date brings up jewelry it’s because they want it. So I just assumed—is it really something to be so dramatic about?”

You frowned. “I’m allowed to feel hurt about this.”

“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.” 

He didn’t actually roll his eyes but his expression and the tone in his voice made you feel like he did. It was obvious that he didn’t feel sorry at all. And what kind of apology was that anyway? I’m sorry you feel that way? Shouldn’t it be I’m sorry I made you feel that way? But maybe you were being nit-picky.

When you didn’t reply he sighed. “So what now?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Are we seriously breaking up because of a mere necklace?”

“I wasn’t–'' You interrupted yourself. What were you going to say? That you weren’t going to break up with him? Were you really not? 

You shook your head defeatedly. “It’s more than that. But that you can’t see that and that it’s still just a mere necklace to you is part of the problem.”

“Well, if I can’t see it then explain it to me!” The way he raised his voice made you flinch, but you tried your best to stay composed and not let any insecurity show on your face.

Still, your voice quivered when you spoke up. “I just—I feel so small when I’m with you.”

“Small? That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m not saying it’s your fault. But when we’re together I feel small and pathetic. I just do. And I don’t want to feel that way anymore.”

He laughed. “Is this about him? Is he finally returning your feelings now?”

“What?! No! This is about me.”

“Sure, whatever. You can come pick up your things while I’m at work then.”

“I don’t have any things left at your place.”

“Right,” he sneered. “Even better then.”

He turned to walk away, just like that, leaving you standing in the park. You felt yourself choke up. How did things turn out this way? He’d been so sweet all this time, treating you so well. How could everything go down the drain like this? He’d always seemed so mature to you, so why was it you couldn’t talk things out with him?

The geese were closer now, waddling over the green lawn. They were quiet, no conversations of stuck up church ladies to be heard. Not that it made a difference.

With heavy steps you made your way home, bursting out in tears as soon as the door closed behind you. You knew that Wooseok was still at a lecture at this time, so nothing stopped you from crouching down on the floor and sobbing into your knees until no more tears were coming out. Then you trudged over to the couch and buried yourself under pillows and blankets.

Your mind briefly wandered to the ice cream and you were regretting now that you hadn’t saved any for today. 

You must have fallen asleep at some point, because when you woke up, Wooseok was crouching down in front of the couch, looking at you with a worried frown.

“You okay?” He asked, even though you so obviously weren’t.

You shook your head, it was no use keeping up fronts with him anyway.

“Ice cream?”

“We ate it all yesterday.”

A winning smile tugged at his lips. “I bought a new one on my way home.”

“You’re the best. I really love you.”

You hadn’t meant to say that. Or maybe you had, but you clearly hadn’t meant anything by it. Friends say that sometimes, right?

Yet, you noticed the way Wooseok’s ears turned red as he stood up. He cleared his throat. “I’ll get us some spoons.”

“Thanks,” you croaked, desperately trying to play it cool. You’d only just broken up with your boyfriend today, it clearly wasn’t the right time for whatever this was.

He came back with the ice cream and the spoons, motioning for you to scoot over so he could sit next to you. Huddled together on the couch, you put on some movie and watched in silence, eating ice cream until you felt sick. Wooseok didn’t pressure you to tell him what happened, but you knew if you wanted to talk about it, he’d listen to you.

You didn’t feel like talking about it though, not yet. For now you just wanted to sit on the couch together, enjoying the familiarity of it all. 

Eventually you felt yourself getting tired, your eyes unable to focus on the screen anymore, so you excused yourself to go to bed. As soon as you were lying in bed though, you were wide awake again, the argument with your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—playing on repeat in your restless mind. You kept tossing and turning, unable to calm your thoughts. 

It wasn’t necessarily that you regretted the break-up; how could you stay in a relationship that made you feel like you didn’t belong? But it hurt nonetheless. Despite everything you’d liked being with him. It hurt that it ended like this and it hurt that it ended at all.

Tears were welling up in your eyes again and you sobbed into your pillow, trying to muffle the sounds. You’d lost count of how often you’d cried over the past few days.

When you dragged out of your room around noon the next day, you found a very surprised Wooseok in the kitchen.

“Y/n? Don’t you have classes?”

You shrugged, before plopping down at the small kitchen table. “I‘m skipping.”

Wooseok frowned, worry written all over his face. But he didn’t comment on it further.

“Coffee?” He lifted the can, shaking it lightly. 

When you nodded he got your favorite mug from the cupboard and poured you some, just the way he knew you liked it. You briefly wondered if your ex would have known how you drink your coffee.

Wooseok put the steaming mug onto the table in front of you before he sat down as well.

“You look tired,” he mumbled after a while. “Were you able to sleep?”

You shrugged again, not really knowing what to tell him. You’d barely gotten rest but it also felt too much to admit to that fact. “It’s fine.”

He didn’t seem satisfied at all but he didn’t press further.

“I have classes later, do you want me to bring something on the way back?” A small encouraging grin appeared on his lips. “More ice cream?”

Despite feeling miserable, the question got a little chuckle out of you. “I never thought I would say this but I think I’ve had enough ice cream for a while.”

“Alright, anything else? Or uhm—,” he halted, clearly contemplating if it was okay to address this or not before he continued. “Do you need me to pick anything up from his place?”

“No, I don’t have anything left there. Thank you though.”

He nodded. “It’s no problem.”

“Wooseok?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

Wooseok chuckled. “You already said that?”

“No, I mean—thank you for being there for me.”

His eyes looked at you so fondly, it almost made your heart ache a little bit. 

“Of course I am there for you. I—,” he halted. “I’m your friend.”

Somehow the break up was taking a real toll on you. Even though you hadn’t been dating for long, you felt incredibly lonely and there were all kinds of other feelings too that you didn’t want to address. It was a terrible thing to say, but despite the relationship in hindsight not being the best for either of you, you’d been grateful for the distraction it had provided. Now that it was over, you were alone again. Alone in your bed, alone with your thoughts, alone with your stupid feelings for someone you shouldn’t be having feelings for at all.

Your emotional tumult kept you tossing and turning night after night, leaving you tired and exhausted in the mornings.

Wooseok had noticed; you were convinced he had. He kept looking at you with worried eyes, clearly unsure if he should say anything or not. But what was he supposed to say anyway? It’s not like he could solve this.

Struggling to fall asleep yet another night, you eventually peeled yourself out of bed and made your way to the kitchen. Maybe drinking a cup of herbal tea could help you find some rest. You sat down at the table sipping on your tea when you heard a door open and Wooseok’s shuffled steps shortly after that as he followed the source of light to the kitchen.

He eyed you with a drowsy frown. “Why are you awake?”

You shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep. Did I wake you up?”

He ignored your question, the furrows between his eyebrows deepening even more. “You haven’t been sleeping these days, have you?”

You averted your gaze, almost feeling as if he was scolding you. “I’ve just been overthinking a lot.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Wooseok took a seat across from you. “Maybe I could have helped you?”

“How?” You huffed a laugh. “By staying awake as well?”

“I wouldn’t have minded.” 

Judging by Wooseok’s pout, you’d sounded a bit too sarcastic. You blamed it on your lack of sleep but you still felt guilty. You tried your best to soften up a little, giving him your best attempt at a smile when you replied.

“At least one of us should get some decent sleep though.”

“Still,” he shrugged. “We could have come up with a solution together.”

“For example?”

“We could watch a movie until you feel sleepy,” he mumbled, and then even quieter, “or you could sleep in my room…”

“Huh?”

“Just—! Just because it’s easier to sleep when you’re not alone.”

Of course it wasn’t a good idea to agree to this. But recalling how lonely you’d felt in your bed you couldn’t help but think that he had a point. 

“Maybe,” you said reluctantly, your voice barely a whisper. “Maybe we could try that?”

Despite being the one who suggested it, Wooseok seemed completely caught off guard, looking at you with wide, round eyes. He visibly swallowed.

“Seriously?”

“I mean, only if it doesn’t bother you.” You didn’t dare to meet his gaze. “But I guess it was a joke—”

“No,” he interrupted. “It wasn’t a joke.”

Just like that, you found yourself awkwardly standing in Wooseok’s door frame a little later, your pillow and blanket slung over your arm. Wooseok sat on the edge of his mattress, his pillow and blanket shoved to one side to make space for you. You’d been to his room a zillion times before, but it felt so different now, so much more intimate.

“You can come in, you know.”

“Right.” Your whole body felt tense as you stepped inside, closing the door behind you. This was a terrible idea indeed.

You let your pillow and blanket fall onto the mattress before crawling into bed, trying to take up as little space as possible. It was weird, really, because you’d never been this careful around him. You were touching all the time, when you squeezed past him in the kitchen or when the two of you huddled together on the couch. Yet, now just the thought of accidentally touching him made your heart race.

Once you’d settled in, he laid down as well, looking stiff as a board.

“I’ll turn the light off,” he commented, already reaching out for the switch of his bedside lamp.

“Right,” you replied once more.

For a moment you just laid in his bed, side by side staring into the darkness. You didn’t turn around to look at him, but you knew he wasn’t asleep. He seemed tense, and you had a feeling he wanted to say something, but it took ages until he finally spoke up. His voice was barely audible, something that didn’t happen often when it came to Wooseok. Still, you heard him just fine.

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.”

“Did you—Do you love him?”

“I—,” you started, instinctively wanting to tell him that yes, you did, you do. But you stopped yourself in favor of being honest. What was the use of lying about this, especially now that it was over anyway? 

“No. But I thought maybe I could.”

“Is that why you dated him? Because you wanted to fall in love with him?”

“Is that so wrong?”

“No, it’s just—I don’t get it. Shouldn’t it come naturally?”

When you turned to look at him, his gaze was already on you, his eyes big and round in the halflight of the room. 

“You can’t force yourself to fall in love. You can’t force yourself to fall out of love either.”

For a moment you felt unsettled. Did he catch you? Did he realize your feelings? Unsure what to make of it, you just stared at him through the darkness without replying.

“I’m just saying—,” he added, breaking eye contact. “You don’t have to try so hard.”

You swallowed, your mouth feeling dry. “Yeah,” you whispered. “Thank you.”

He didn't say anything after that and eventually his breathing got slow and even. You couldn't sleep though. His words kept you awake, filling you with a longing for things to be easy, natural, as he'd said. 

"I did it for you too, you know," you almost unconsciously mumbled into the silence, well aware that Wooseok was already sleeping.

Except he wasn’t.

"What do you mean?"

Your eyes widened at the sound of gis raspy voice and you instinctively sat up, ready to escape. "No," you quickly pressed out, "nothing. Maybe I should—"

Before you could say anything about going back to your own room, you felt Wooseok's hand on your own. He wasn't holding onto you and you could have easily pulled away, but it felt warm and comforting covering your own.

"What do you mean?" he asked again.

You let a beat pass by, unsure if you should be honest with them. As though he sensed your indecisiveness, Wooseok gave your hand a little squeeze. 

"What did you do for me?" His voice was so soft, you could barely hear it.

"Dating," you whispered. "Dating him."

You thought you saw him frown. "How could that have been for me?"

You felt a lump in your throat that made it hard to speak. But you'd already been this honest, maybe it was for the best to just lay it all out in the open.

"To get over you," you pressed out.

It was silent. You felt his gaze on you but you didn't dare to look at him. The mattress dipped a little as he sat up too, his hand still on yours. "Why?"

"Because I—," you started but Wooseok wasn’t done yet.

"Why did you think you had to get over me?" He almost sounded sad, and then he definitely did when he tentatively added: "Did it work?"

When you finally turned to look at him, there was desperation in his eyes but maybe also just the tiniest bit of hope.

"No," you admitted. "Not at all."

He let out a sigh you thought was relief as he let his head drop onto your shoulder, just to look up a second later with big black eyes. "Don't try again."

You felt your heart stop at the implication of his words. 

"Why would you try that, when all I wanted all this time was for you to see me?" He still didn’t avert his eyes and neither did you.

"I did," you leaned into him, resting your forehead against his. "I do,” you added.

He tilted his chin up, the tiniest bit, making the tip of his nose touch yours. You saw the way his gaze dropped to your lips and you felt his breath on your skin. You swallowed, your whole body thrumming with nerves. Your eyes searched his for something, and even though you weren’t sure what it was exactly, you thought you found it. You leaned in to kiss him in the same moment that he did, your teeth clashing for a brief moment. You chuckled and he chuckled too, and then you leaned in again, no teeth this time, just lips and love and butterflies.

You didn't remember how or when you'd fallen asleep. You didn't think you'd been wrapped up in Wooseok's long limbs then as you were now, but you couldn't be too sure. It took you a second to realize where you were and who it was that was koala-hugging you, and then another second to remember yesterday's conversations. You glanced over at his peacefully sleeping face at your side, not a trace of the desperation there that you'd seen at night. It hadn’t been a mere dream, right?

You tried to peel yourself out of his grasp, but Wooseok wouldn't let you go, making a whiny noise in complaint. Defeated, you let yourself relax back into the pillow, soaking up his warmth until he woke up.

You thought he'd be flustered once he'd wake up, and maybe he was, but he still didn't let go, instead nuzzling closer and hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

"That tickles," you said with a giggle. The little sorry he mumbled into your skin tickled even more.

You felt giddy, your stomach filled with butterflies at this display of affection, but at the same time there was a sense of insecurity. What did it all mean exactly? Of course you knew what you wanted it to mean, but was Wooseok on the same plate?

“Wooseok?”

“Hm?” He lifted his head to look at you. His eyes were sleepy and his black hair tousled.

“What now?”

He frowned in confusion. “Breakfast, I guess?”

“No, I mean—what do we do now? About us.”

“So, no breakfast?” He asked and you gave him a little roll of your eyes.

“I’m being serious, you know.”

“I’m also serious,” he replied, and then in a little whisper added, “About us, about you.”

“So we’re doing this, huh? Dating, I mean.”

“Yeah.”

You felt your chest tighten. “We’re not going to mess this up, right?”

He pulled you closer, nuzzling back into your neck. “No. We’re not. We’ll be okay.”

 You smiled and closed your eyes as you relaxed into his arms. “Okay.”

“Where are you going?” Wooseok asked, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on top of your head, watching through the mirror as you fixed your makeup. 

“Meeting with Claire and them,” you said. You hesitated for a moment before adding, “you can come along, if you want.”

You saw surprise flash through his eyes. After all, you’d never asked him to come along before. But you’d figured now that he already knew about your feelings for him, there wasn’t really any reason to keep him away from your friends anymore. 

“Hm,” he hummed as if he was contemplating. “Not today, I’m in a couch mood.”

You chuckled. “Another time then.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

“I’ll be late, though.”

“I’ll wait.” 

Memories of the way he’d fallen asleep on the couch last time, worried since you’d forgotten your phone, crossed your mind, and you wondered if you’d find him just the same way tonight. Except, this time you wouldn’t have someone else’s number in your pocket and you wouldn't shake off his hand if he reached out to you.

Masterlist

[blueiight]

re: choose violence meme Utena answer, I don't want to drag you into the wretched discourse lol, so no pressure to answer, but... okay so I haven't watched IWTV but from what little I see. you seem SO TAPPED IN to what's going on w interplay of the book VS the tv show's handling of race, gender, etc. so I am wondering... penny for your thoughts on Ikuhara's handling / not handling of race (and / or sexuality)... and / or the fandom's takes... orz

oh yeah im down& i appreciate the compliment!<3 im hesitant to over-speak, but i know ikuni & saito have explicitly said anthy is based off lalah sune from mobile suit gundam.. lalah is from bombay (mumbai) & was trafficked into the flannigan institute (2d space military experimentation) as a means to experiment n find the answer on newtypes, which r basically an esoteric arbitrarily defined concept from gundam to gundam thats exploited in the space age military apparatus. lalah sune in the uc gundam series is used as a plot device: its one of char’s greatest mistake/s in his culpability in lalah’s situation, therefore once again violating his father zeon’s revolutionary precepts on what the newtypes were for, and one of amuro’s greatest mistake/s in that he made a brief but rather profound bond w/ such a ~kindred spirit~ n ended up being the one who killed her. she ends up haunting both of them in char’s counterratack & while i thought that was enjoyable to watch.. its laughably easy to read lalah as a pretext for amuro + char’s later fixation on eachother (& tomino even encourages it). ultimately, lalah’s own characterization, much less any story arc on how she was the means to introduce newtypes in the gundam series is tertiary to what she represented to amuro and char. now why am i talking about lalah here? bc ikuni+ saito r explicitly inspired by her in making anthy n ima try to say my piece in how ikuni, and the rgu narrative in both animanga treat anthy (& akio, as a result of being her brother)’s racialization. a lot of shoujo animanga period always has the trope of the character or two at the most who r noticeably darker than the pale-skinned cast, yet theyre never really clearly defined as who or what they are much less is this used to supplement their characterization. with rgu, as u have discussed before, ikuni nem use eternity as a motif. like what does it mean to be eternal? n all. u have anthy and akio, these two darker skinned (indian) characters like lalah, being seen as the vanguard , the introduction to and the disseminator of this esoteric concept that ever eludes the rest of the cast. u have these indian characters who play into these new-age stereotypes , namely how the new age has coopted a lot of the indian faiths & refuse to see yalls cultures as something that actually evolves, but is stagnant + ‘eternal’. the modern world is outside, ohtori headed by akio is the cycle of life repeating over& over n over again. when it comes to the vitriolic protracted abuse + projection anthy faces thru the series, its implicit that this is bc shes a darker skinned girl in a sea of lighter skinned people & abused by her older brother. i cant say if it was ikuni nems intention in doing this but the canon is ample for this argument n how i read this idea of being the rose bride , the ultimate target for humanity’s hate to be a commentary in part on what it means to be a girl/woman of color. dios having the burden to save all of humanity is the archetypical prince, and the expectation on boys of color to prematurely ‘rise up’ n ‘be the man’ so & anthy pulling her brother away from this burden made her a target to all of Humanity, metaphorically for refusing to play the martyr. n ive faced shit in the past for articulating such& bc im a bw, ppl have seemed to misinterpret me saying this as saying ‘anthy is black’ LOL. the fandom is woefully reluctant to tackle this, bc there is no immediate white (european) involved. they want to say utena tenjou n em are ‘white’ bc theyre so eurocentric that this is the only way they can think. when these are japanese creators , creating characters n r relying on stereotypes of indian spirituality + people to define them in relation to the japanese characters. like its a reason they made anthy , the rose bride, the witch, based off lalah sune & not like. utena or shiori yk? the question of sexuality tied to this is rly weighted too, esp bc anthy (+ akio?) sport the marriage colored bindi, but i feel like that was the most intentional they went there

[jihyoruri]

okay I NEED to talk abt this bc richgirlyn is literally me FORREAL 

so uhh not the analysis I thought I’d be doing but I need to. the other one will be later 

ok tw for eds I guess like this is the entire analysis 

disclaimer. this is all my interpretation as well as my experience. I’ve had an issues w eating since 8 (almost twins!) and it’s been literal years. this is just what I think based on what I’VE seen and done as a girl. I know men can have ed’s but I will be talking abt it from my standpoint, which is hashtag girl. everyone’s experience is different.

key: ana=anorexia, ed=eating disorder 

Ive never dealt with real bulimia so take whatever I say with a grain of salt

okay. here’s why richgirlyn having an ed, specifically how she develops ana as she gets older makes a lot of sense (Ive had a fixation on eds and the way they affect the mind for so long..)

i feel like people forget just how genuinely maddening have an eating disorder is.

most of the time in movies they’re there for laughs and portrayed as “oh she just kinda throws up!”  (heathers, the musical) or “oh she wants to be skinny so bad she js doesn’t eat!” (mean girls) (I love both of them btw they’re just what come to mind)

like that is not what they are like AT ALL

eating disorders are some of the most deadly mental illness there is and because it mostly affects teenage girls and women people literally treat it like something not that serious or a joke it’s actually insane how people do not gaf about it

so anyway.

I feel like if children have issues with food they always start out thinking of purging

it makes sense! if you don’t want calories, just get rid of them.

obviously, it doesn’t work that way, and purging doesn’t even actually work well LMAO most of the calories are absorbed unless u throw up like the second food enters ur mouth like it is not foolproof at all.

but to a child it makes sense. the food is gone so you can’t gain weight

and when you’re a kid your gag reflex is way more sensitive so it’s way easier to vomit. when you get older it’s so much harder

bulimia is not really possible long term for idols because of its side effects which are:

erosion of tooth enamel making them appear clear other than white

sunken in, bulging eyes

swollen cheeks

hair loss 

GERD

also for the fact it doesn’t really help much with not absorbing the calories + the fact that it affects the appearance, which idols need to be perfect, + the fact that it affects your voice, which idols need, and also throwing up is difficult 

much more common in idols is anorexia.

so! actually the side effects of ana aren’t as noticeable if you’re not restricting a lot! at about 700-800 calories max a day I didn’t experience hair loss or getting spots on my skin

It was mostly that I was just tired all the time and kind of irritable. i never experienced any physical effects other than losing weight (didn’t lose much muscle bc most of the cals were protein and I worked out everyday)

anyway

richgirlyn definitely likes control.

we can see how control has been taken from her time and time again— mostly by her dad, making all the decisions while she doesn’t get a say, and later, how her members and the people around her treat her.

eds are about control more than looks. It’s the one safety net, the one thing you can always be good at.

when everything around you is falling apart— you can control what you eat. it’s like an accomplishment. look how low I got the number! I’m so good at this! I’m so disciplined!

It’s like. “no one could ever get as low as me”. It makes you weirdly competitive 

and obviously there’s pressure to be skinny as a trainee. It’s what half of your self worth is based on. so if you can control that? and punish yourself (because as we’ve discussed richgirlyn does NAWT like herself that much) while you’re at it? It’s literally gold

she practices and practices, trying to be good enough, the best, and she doesn’t want to eat. eating is kind of like admitting defeat and saying you’re weak and giving in to the need to have food. 

oh and y’all don’t KNOW what mommy issues do with an ed like.

if losing weight makes someone PROUD? oh you KNOW you’re dropping to size 0 trust like it’s actually insane. I can’t even explain the real insanity that comes with an ed it makes you actually crazy. you start becoming afraid of certain numbers because they look bigger even if it’s not how it works. ex: it’s better to eat 98 cal than 50 because 98 feels “smaller” like it’s CRAZY. the state of mind you have when you’re doing that is really seriously not normal like I know it’s obvious but people don’t GET IT. you become very obsessive and cagey over it like if you eat over a certain limit you will literally either break down or get up and go work out until you think you’re back under and the guilt eats you up inside. richgirlyn is SAUR MEEEE FOR REAL

so ANYWAY richgirlyn having an ed makes sense. specifically ana.

she likes control, she wants something to feel proud about (along with her singing and dancing and rapping abilities), it’s something her mom’s PRAISED HER FOR so you already KNOW when her mom is like “wowww you’ve lost weight!” she is like I’m gonna get so much worse.

and also there has to be a part of her that wants someone to worry. i know she hates being seen as weak but I just know minjeong saying smth like “oh I wondered how u stay thin it’s cause u js don’t eat” made her feel so validated because it’s proof that she’s sick and she’s not okay and she’s not making it up.

I’m very sure her being well off has completely fucked with the idea of her being “allowed” to feel negative emotions. like “I’m rich, I shouldn’t be sad” but with any negative emotion.

and I know she was getting better until she got put in le sserafim I just KNOW especially CURRENTLY?

the stress of her members disliking her makes her feel worse abt her self making her want more control and also there’s this very fucked up part of it where it’s like. the less I eat and the less space I take up the more they’ll like me, they won’t hurt me if they think I’m sick and fragile and GODDD that’s so her. she wants to be strong so bad but sometimes.

anyway it’s 1 am this isn’t a great analysis maybe I’ll circle back to this but I needed to talk about it

I love richgirlyn she’s witerwally me 

-🎏

It’s crazy that everything you just said is so correct like completely correct when it comes to richgirl!yn’s problems.

and because this has been going on since she was ten it’s just a normal routine for her all that girl does is try her best to become better, and because she knows that her image is something that her mother actually pays attention about her, so it’s rlly important to her.

even now that she’s an idol she doesn’t talk to her mom but there’s times when her mom will call her and be like “you look a little different.” and then she’s completely back in that cycle

[frogsndogs]

I feel like if they were to make another Scooby Doo series, they should reboot the 13 Ghosts (properly this time). Lemme tell you why:

(Also Note: I have not seen the 13 Ghost movie in it's entirety so pls just keep that in mind)

okay so first we could have that found family dynamic that everyone loves and that the 13 Ghosts had amazing set up and some execution but i don't think reached it's full potential.

Dad!Vincent parenting a bunch of wack kids who insist on helping put the demons back and they keep showing up at his house how did they even find this address I live at the top of a cliff in the middle of nowhere what do you mean you brought my Chinese food - that delivery person gave you my adress didn't he I always knew he was a bad egg

Next I think that we should get a proper Flim Flam and Vincent backstory - how did they meet? where? Why is Flim Flam staying with Vincent? and we could have some added depth there

And an cool aspect of Flim Flam and Vincent's relationship is that Vincent is a real-deal wizard where Flim Flam is (like his name suggests) a con artist. I think this could bring an interesting facet to their relationship and maybe even drive the inner conflict of at least one episode

Then I think that we should have more lore abt the Chest of Demons, like where it came from, how they were trapped originally, etc, etc,

Explore the magical community and Vincent's place in it

along these lines ppl in the magic community must have at least heard of the Scooby Gang and their exploits - watch Scooby become a celebrity in the Magic world and have one of those cliche "fame is dangerous episodes" while building lore

Daphne leadership role!!!

I always kinda went with the idea that Daph, Shag and Scooby didn't tell Fred and Velma abt the chest bc they wanted to protect them from the demons

Like when they were originally going after the demons they weren't just tracking them - they demons were tracking them back and it often got dangerous, so we could have some tension with Fred and Velma thinking that the trio is lying to them and a heartfelt episode with that

Then I think that Weerd and Bogel deserve a redemption arc

They were always treated badly by the demons and i think that the one episode where they pretend to team up with the gang could be a turning point where they realize how teams are supposed to work and how the gang shows them (their enemies) genuine compassion

They're funny and they also have a complex dynamic that I would have liked to explore

I think that Daphne's sister (either an older one from SDMI (prob Delilah) or a younger one, like the one that was pitched with Scrappy to be his owner(kinda leaning towards this)) would be a good edition

Depending on if she was older or younger she could be a mentor or a good friend for Flim Flam and Scrappy

I see this Daphne as being more of a leader than her goofy BC self(who I love don't get me wrong) but I think that Daphne's sister could bring a goofier element with Flim Flam and Scrappy

AND

BRING BACK SCRAPPY

He was such a good boy in this series - such a good friend to Flim Flam and so supportive of his uncle

There is so much wasted potential with his character, in my opinion but that's for a whole other post probably - this has already gotten longer than i expected

anyway that's most of my ideas - i probably have more somewhere in my head